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Showing posts from August, 2018

Slamming Cupboard Doors

Iused to slam cupboard doors.  Ken would ask, “Is something wrong?” and many times I would honestly not know the answer to his question.  I’m embarrassed to admit I was SO unaware of my own emotions. I didn’t know myself well enough to be able to understand what was going on inside of me.       For example, one afternoon, Ken went golfing with a friend.  I cooked supper. He didn't come home when I expected.  Kids were hungry.  The clock kept ticking. He came home.  I was slamming cupboard doors and almost throwing his plate of nearly burnt food on the table.  I wanted to be sure he knew that he was late and that it had disrupted the whole evening.  
     Well, it was obvious to me that I had messed up, and that Janine was not happy. It didn’t seem like she was open to talking about it, so I just stayed quiet to keep the peace. Needless to say, peaceful was not what I was feeling that evening. Now we were both upset. We each spent the evening doing our own thing - and not talki…

Empathy, Is It Contagious? For You Baby . . .

Destination Weddings are a trend.  Mary Frances and I attended one on the Mexican Riviera that was wonderful.  It is ironic though to plan and celebrate a wedding as a destination when marriage, like graduation is the commencement of a life-long journey. If we could pack only one item for this journey, we would put EMPATHY at the top of the list of essentials. To journeytogether we need to be in sync with each other. Creating an environment of trust and openness where we can be vulnerable in sharing is key to developing empathy.  I like to think of Empathy as seeing the world through the eyes of Mary Frances.  After our kids were all in school, Mary Frances shared her desire to join me in the practice of medicine.  I knew it would be a big change in our lives.  I heard loud and clear her desires but also her fears.  I wanted to be supportive of her and face this change together.  With both of us working I developed a greater empathy for home chores and focusing on 5 kids after a full d…

Forgiveness & Healing

Sustaining a joy-filled marriage is hard work. When two people get married and live together, the challenges of everyday life start adding up. Between our different personalities, the demands of work, raising children, extended family, married couples can occasionally get on each other’s nerves.  It’s inevitable that eventually we’re going to bump into each other and cause some hurts between us. When this happens, we need forgiveness and healing to repair our  relationship .
Have you ever considered the difference between saying “I’m sorry” and asking for forgiveness? There’s a huge difference. When we say, “I’m sorry,” we’ve really just unloaded our own guilt and washed our hands of the matter. When we ask, instead, for forgiveness, we are granting the other person the power to either accept or reject our request. We empower them by giving them a choice. Asking for forgiveness, means asking for a response. It is the first step in the healing process.
Here’s an example. Recently, Steph…

Great Sex!

Sex between a married couple is not only good, it’s very good. If you read the research and surveys, you will find that married couples experience better and more frequent sex than non-married couples. Married couples are healthier, happier, and live longer. When we went on a WorldWide Marriage Encounter weekend, we were more than a little surprised when a priest told us that our love-making is good, is important for us, and is important to the world. He encouraged us to “make mad passionate love!”
    So, why has married sex become something else? Society and media portray sex for married couples as dull and lifeless, a tool used to manipulate, something to joke about, and something that - beyond the newlywed phase- gradually drifts away. We’ve been sold this bill of goods, and we often buy into it! What we really crave in our sex life is to give and receive something powerful- to experience the depths of our passion and love for each other, to be as intimate as possible. Our freq…