Skip to main content

Party Pitfalls



P: Have you ever noticed at parties that couples tend to separate into groups where the men congregate in one place and the women in another? We recently went on a double date night with some friends and even though we all shared a table, us guys made conversation with each other while the gals engaged in their own conversation. Driving home we realized that even though we spent the evening together, we had engaged with each other very little. What kind of date night is that?  

S: Since that evening, we recommitted to the value of being together as a couple. We figured that the Thanksgiving holiday would be a very good time to put this value into practice. Upon arriving at our family gathering, instead of heading straight to the kitchen to find the women, Paul and I greeted our hosts and said our hellos together. Even though I checked occasionally to see if any help was needed, it wasn’t long before I sought out Paul again.

P: And instead of watching football with the guys, I found another couple whom I hadn’t previously met and invited Stephanie to join me as we shared about our families and the joys and struggles of married life. It was so much easier getting to know this new couple with Stephanie beside me sharing her input and charm.

S: Even though the standard gender divide was happening around us, we found each other and stuck together. As we did this we noticed that several other couples also seemed to find their way back to each other and the room was filled with more lively conversation. This holiday season, we invite you to give this simple attitude shift a test run. You might just find you enjoy hanging out with your spouse!

Comments

Other Popular Posts

3 Steps to End the Bickering

  Even the best marriages succumb to nit-picking over how to do the laundry or load the dishwasher.  We differ over asking or not asking for directions and bicker over who's to blame for being late or how we spend money.  While these quarrels may seem trivial, in reality, they matter and getting to a solution beats bickering any day.

April 19th

MICHELLE : For many people, distinct moments in their life stand out as frozen memories.  For example, my dad can remember the smells, the sounds and the clothes he was wearing on the day that John F. Kennedy was shot.  For me, that moment came on April 19, 1995.  I was a student teacher in Norman, Oklahoma.  As I used the restroom early that morning, I heard a loud boom and then tiles began coming loose one by one off the wall onto my lap.  Rushing out of the restroom and back to the classroom, my mentor teacher and I prepared for what we assumed was an earthquake. 

Ready for a Marriage Check-up?

If someone asks, “How’s your marriage?” how would you answer? It’s hard to give an objective answer. This week, we offer a short quiz you can take to evaluate how things are going in your marriage.   Before we can move toward the goal of a better marriage, we need to know where we are currently.  Doing this Marriage Check-up exercise helped us take stock of how we were doing. Here’s what we learned... 

KFC - It's What's for Mother's Day!

 JULIE: Dandelion bouquets.  Homemade breakfast in bed.  Handmade cards splashed with crayon hearts.  Kentucky Fried Chicken.  Wait, what? Let me explain…  Growing up, Mother’s Day was my mom’s annual day off, her well-deserved reward for all she did the other 364 days of the year.   It was also the one day of the year that she didn’t have to figure out what to cook for dinner for 7 hungry mouths. We always got a bucket of KFC, a rare and welcome treat.

5 Things Men Want

1. RESPECT: (KEN) : When a man is asked, 'Would you rather be respected or loved?' most would choose being respected.  In his book Love and Respect , Dr. E. Eggerichs explains this tendency.   (JANINE) : For years, I didn't appreciate how important it was to Ken that I treat him with respect.  I also didn't understand how hurtful it was when I dis respected him.  When I show Ken respect ( by affirming his decisions,  avoiding sarcasm or by not using a demeaning tone) it translates (for him) into feeling 'loved.'  Another way to say this is: when a man is dis respected, he receives the message he is NOT loved. 2.  SEX:  

7 Tips to Improve Your Sex Life

Is sex a priority in your marriage? Sexuality is an important ingredient for a healthy marriage. Here are 7 tips to help....

8 Misunderstandings That Are Hurting Your Sex Life

Why are we writing about sex again?  Sex in marriage is more important than most people think.  It's mysterious. There are a lot of "layers" and complexities to this whole topic.... read on... 

The 5 "P's" of Constructive Feedback

Photo Credit:  Ian Schneider (Reprise of post originally published on 09-16-2019) We once read an article on criticism in marriage.  The Author's bottom line was "don't do it."  Even asking: "Can I give you some feedback?" was cautioned against.  Sometimes suggestions given with the best intent with regard to work, chores, relationships with the kids can back fire.  Think back seat driving.  Experience has taught us 5 Key Points for when we just want to give each other a little suggestion.  These 5 simple points set the tone and enable us to let down our defenses and be supportive of each other when offering a little constructive feedback.   

What Can’t You Afford to Edit out of Your Story?

Michelle: When I was a teenager, I remember coming home after breaking up with a guy and my dad asking me how it went. I gave the inevitable teenage response, “I don’t want to talk about it.” My dad responded, “You don’t have to. But you do need to remember that there are some things in life that you can’t afford to edit out of your story. Is this one of them?”

10 Things Women Want

1)  Learn her “Love Language :"   And speak it often! (Learn more:  What Language Are You Speaking? ) Janine’s love language is “Acts of Service.” So, when I vacuum or do dishes or cook, it fills up her ‘love tank' - her mood brightens and there’s a whole different vibe between us.   I can tell I’ve found a direct path to her heart.