The Couples Post

Paul: For many married couples, in-laws can be a source of great stress and discontent. We are fortunate that our experience has been very different. When we were first married, I really appreciated how my parents treated Stephanie like their own daughter. They engaged her in meaningful conversation, sought out her opinion about things, and made it a point to include her in all family events. Steph: It is true - Paul’s parents treated me like one of their own children.   Paul’s mom shared some of her favorite recipes with me and gave me the inspiration to give out baked goods to family and friends at Christmas! One of my fondest memories is her making me a special dinner on my birthday.   Reflecting on that now still fills my heart with gratitude since I know being loved and welcomed into a husband’s family is a gift not every daughter-in-law receives. Paul: When our son got married, we vowed to continue this tradition and communicate our love and fondness for his wife. We f

We received a request to share on the topic of teamwork.  Good topic! Every marriage is based in teamwork – we chose our partner to team up with in life.  Like most marriages, we have had times when we pull together in the same direction and times when we are fighting against each other.  Over the years, we have found 

Photo Credit: Soroush Karimi In our last post we hinted at the complexity of intimacy, especially in the context of forgiveness and healing (1/13/19).   Intimacy involves more than sex.  In fact sex can sometimes be anything but intimate. Many authors and psychologists speak of at least 4 components to deep and sustained intimacy.  They often include emotional, intellectual, spiritual and physical intimacy.  We like to think of this as the 'Secret Recipe.' To achieve this Intimacy we both need to desire and be willing to work towards intimacy. Intellectual Intimacy is sharing ideas and thoughts, showing an interest in each other's hobbies.  We won't always enjoy doing the same thing, but we support each other's pursuits and successes.  Tom has always mowed the lawn, but over the years he has joined me in gardening, saving seeds, nurturing seedlings and reading about heirloom tomatoes.  As a result, some of our most memorable conversations and moments have occ

Ken:  When we were dating, it seemed we could talk all night, and sometimes we did.  During our engagement, there was so much to talk and dream about together...our future, a home, kids, jobs, adventures. Janine:  I remember the 10 hour road trip we took so I could meet Ken's Mom for the first time.  All the way there and back, we talked and talked.  Fast forward about 5 or 6 years though, and I remember sitting in a restaurant, just the two of us, with nothing to say to each other.  Silence.  Ken:  Do most of your conversations center around the kids or problems at work or the honey-do list?