In-Laws or Outlaws?

Paul: For many married couples, in-laws can be a source of great stress and discontent. We are fortunate that our experience has been very different. When we were first married, I really appreciated how my parents treated Stephanie like their own daughter. They engaged her in meaningful conversation, sought out her opinion about things, and made it a point to include her in all family events.

Steph: It is true - Paul’s parents treated me like one of their own children. Paul’s mom shared some of her favorite recipes with me and gave me the inspiration to give out baked goods to family and friends at Christmas! One of my fondest memories is her making me a special dinner on my birthday. Reflecting on that now still fills my heart with gratitude since I know being loved and welcomed into a husband’s family is a gift not every daughter-in-law receives.

Paul: When our son got married, we vowed to continue this tradition and communicate our love and fondness for his wife. We frequently tell her how much we love her and appreciate the wonderful companion she is to our son. We also have taken this in-law embrace to another level – including her parents in our affections as well. Imagine the stress this takes out of the holidays for everyone!

Steph: One of the things we value about our son’s in-laws is not only did they raise a kind, loving, and genuinely good hearted daughter, but they also love our son and he loves them. One of the ways we first tried to build relationship with our son’s in-laws was to invite them over for dinner and to accept their invitations to dinner. When our son proposed, we called his fiancé’s parents to share in the joy of our children’s engagement and to let them know we wanted to share in the cost of the wedding. The whole wedding planning process was full of joy and the day itself was magical.

Paul: As we’ve discovered in our own marriage, building strong, caring, loving relationships takes intentional effort. It requires decisions to love and deliberate acts of inclusivity and acceptance. Staying on the “in” with our in-laws means putting any potential differences aside and choosing instead to focus on our common bonds. Even though our son and daughter-in-law live across the country from us, we still make it a priority to stay connected with her parents as we live fairly close to one another. We share meals and visits as friends – this keeps our relationship happy and healthy. We prefer being in-law friends rather than outlaw strangers!

Steph: If you don't have a great relationship with your in-laws we hope this article might help you to intentionally form better relationships with the next generation of in-laws.

Comments

Great Sex!

Photo by ijeab / Freepik Sex between a married couple is not only good, it’s very good. If you read the research and surveys, you will find that married couples experience better and more frequent sex than non-married couples. Married couples are healthier, happier, and live longer. When we went on a WorldWide Marriage Encounter weekend, we were more than a little surprised when a priest told us that our love-making is good, is important for us, and is important to the world. He encouraged us to “make mad passionate love!” So, why has married sex become something else? Society and media portray sex for married couples as dull and lifeless, a tool used to manipulate, something to joke about, and something that - beyond the newlywed phase- gradually drifts away. We’ve been sold this bill of goods, and we often buy into it! What we really crave in our sex life is to give and receive something powerful- to experience the depths of our passion and love for each other, t

8 Misunderstandings That Are Hurting Your Sex Life

Why are we writing about sex again? Sex in marriage is more important than most people think. It's mysterious. There are a lot of "layers" and complexities to this whole topic.... read on...

10 Stay at Home Date Night Ideas

Date Night has become a household term in recent years and many couples strive to make this quality time together a priority in our increasingly fast paced lives. Throw some kids into the mix (or in our case a granddaughter), and it’s even harder to carve out quality couple time. Not to worry because finance guru Dave Ramsey has come to our rescue with not only a whole host of date night ideas, but most of them are budget friendly. We’d like to highlight 10 of Dave’s Stay at Home Date Night ideas!

Marriage Manners Matter

Photo Credit: Thought Catalog "Fine!" and "Whatever!" These 2 powerful words have the incredible potential to bring nearly any discussion to a screeching halt. They send the insensitive message of "I don't care. Discussion over. Period. Full stop!" As married couples, we have probably used these or similar words. And, if we have raised children we have probably employed time out, taken the car keys or other forms of discipline. Those 2 little words are not the focus of this blog.

Annual Marriage Tune-Up

A number of years ago, some friends of ours told us about a little trick they use to keep their marriage healthy, strong, and vibrant. Every year, they pledge to attend some kind of marriage enrichment event together. According to our friends, this does not mean weekend getaways to the beach, skiing, or going to a bed and breakfast together.

How to FIX Your Spouse

Photo by Alex Jumper Does your spouse do anything that absolutely drives you nuts? Would you like to know how to “fix” them once and for all? Read on.

Stale Crackers

Photo by Pixabay via Pexels It first struck us when we had to throw away all the crackers in the pantry because they were past their expiration date – it’s been a very, very long time since we’ve entertained a group of friends at home.

I Married YOU, Not Your Family

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels Growing up and getting married means that we leave our family of origin and start a new family. We’re not asked to forget about mom and dad, but we do need to remember that our spousal relationship is important to take care of because it becomes the solid ground where we plant our new roots.

8 Ideas to Help Settle Disagreements in Marriage

"I disagree!" "What?!?!" "You don't understand." When husbands and wives disagree, things can get tense. We dig in our heels, raise the volume, and let our emotions get the best of us. Arguments can turn into a competition to win (as if anyone every truly "wins" in an argument). Whenever we hear ourselves say, "You always....," or "You never...," we know we're marching down the wrong road. So how can we settle disagreements?

Come On, Baby, Light My Fire

Photo by Katie Salerno from Pexels One reason married couples end up together is because there is a physical attraction between them. Some call it chemistry. There are times when we can’t keep our hands off each other. We make any excuse to be close, to be intimate.

The Couples Post

Search This Blog