Skip to main content

Advice From a Divorce Lawyer


Yes, this is a strange twist.  We recently heard about James J Sexton's book, "If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late."  James is a divorce attorney from New York, who started noticing some patterns after 20 years of working with couples whose marriages were ending.
 In an interview on CBS news, he said, "I think you can learn a lot about how to keep things together by watching how they fall apart."  Some of the observations James points out align very well with what we have observed in our 28 years of marriage.  

Source: pixabay.com 
James points out that all married couples have struggles, but they think they're the only ones.  They believe everyone else is living near-perfect lives, and this causes them to be unhappy with their own marriage.  He says, "We don't share candidly what's really going on in our lives."  We've noticed the same thing.  Over the years, we've had many opportunities to have heart to heart talks with other couples, to speak to small groups, and to write about our relationship.  Many times, couples have said, "We could really relate to your story.  We thought we were the only ones."  

James also had the following recommendation:  "We would do well to spend some time talking with people who have managed to stay together through the rough spots - who've managed to not only endure marriage, but still like it and thrive at it."  We agree.  Learning from 'marriage veterans' is invaluable.  

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash 
We've been to a variety of marriage enrichment experiences that have helped us to grow closer - especially our Worldwide Marriage Encounter weekend.  If you're looking for an opportunity to hear from couples who are willing to talk about the REAL stuff of relationships, that's what Wordwide Marriage Encounter is all about. 

Here's one more quote from Mr. Sexton:
"I think you fall in love really fast, then you fall out of love slowly.  And if you want to keep your love alive, you have to be attentive to all the little things that go wrong along the way, and constantly course-correct.  If you can do that, you'll never set foot in my office."  

If you're curious to hear more of James' insights, you can find him on YouTube, Twitter, Facebook and all sorts of places online.
To learn more about Worldwide Marriage Encounter, you can click here:  Worldwide Marriage Encounter.  

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Great Sex!

Sex between a married couple is not only good, it’s very good. If you read the research and surveys, you will find that married couples experience better and more frequent sex than non-married couples. Married couples are healthier, happier, and live longer. When we went on a WorldWide Marriage Encounter weekend, we were more than a little surprised when a priest told us that our love-making is good, is important for us, and is important to the world. He encouraged us to “make mad passionate love!”
    So, why has married sex become something else? Society and media portray sex for married couples as dull and lifeless, a tool used to manipulate, something to joke about, and something that - beyond the newlywed phase- gradually drifts away. We’ve been sold this bill of goods, and we often buy into it! What we really crave in our sex life is to give and receive something powerful- to experience the depths of our passion and love for each other, to be as intimate as possible. Our freq…

Tone of Voice

Something that we’ve become increasingly aware of in our marriage is how our tone of voice so significantly affects our communication – for better or for worse! It is remarkable how something so seemingly small can make such a huge impact on whether our communication is healthy, productive, and enriching or debilitating, disheartening, and provocative. Believe it or not, tone of voice is huge. WE would go as far as to say tone of voice is at the root of most of the small hurts we experience in our relationship.
Perhaps it would be easier to make our case using an example. Recently, we were trying to get out of the house to go to church and be on time. I (Stephanie) have to admit I am typically the one who is running behind trying to get one last thing put away or rushing because I did not plan my time well. Paul will often playfully turn the hall light on and off letting me know he is by the door ready and waiting. Usually I will laugh it off and tell him I am coming. This particular…