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What Happened to Our Passion?


Do you find yourself wondering, "What happened to us?!?!"  At some point, we all do.  We long for those days when we were dating and first married.  We were full of passion for each other and so in love.  Our lovemaking was frequent and passionate.  It seemed we couldn't get enough of each other.  How did we get to a place where we were rubbing together like sandpaper, each doing our own thing?

Photo credit: Rene Asmussen - Pexels
Janine:  We found ourselves in a rut.  We realized that we weren't talking like we used to.  Our relationship had slipped to the bottom of our priorities, as the kids, jobs, and outside activities had taken over.  It seemed like we were on opposite teams.

Ken:  If this sounds familiar, we want to encourage you.  This is a common part of the journey.  Our relationship is not just about emotions.  It's not just about sex. It's not just about having things in common.  At our core, what we want and need is to feel loved and respected.  We want to know the one we're committed to is committed to us.

Janine:  We learned that communication really IS the most important thing in a relationship.  When I learned how to express my feelings and to listen intentionally to Ken's feelings, we were able to connect on a deeper level.  When I decided to be less selfish and to make an effort to love Ken (and to quit keeping score), I gradually noticed a change in our relationship - back to the loving, passionate relationship we had in the beginning.

Ken:  A wise friend once told us....'Your lovemaking is a good barometer of how your relationship is doing.'  When I decided to make our relationship a priority, our passion started to return.  If your passion in the bedroom is lack-luster, chances are pretty good that you need to pay more attention to the rest of your relationship.

Janine:  If you miss the one you married, take a closer look - they're still there.  Your relationship is still there....it may just need to be nourished and loved back to life.  To find ideas on where to begin, check out some of our resources: Re-EvaluationConversation Starters,  Date Night IdeasGuidelines for Fair Fighting, or any other posts here on our Blog.
Feel free to email us or make comments below.  We would love to hear from you.

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