Skip to main content

7 Tips to Improve Your Sex Life


Is sex a priority in your marriage? Sexuality is an important ingredient for a healthy marriage. Here are 7 tips to help....


1) Spice it Up.
Be a flirt. Read a good book on sex for married couples. Plan in a little variety. Text your spouse or leave them a note to let them know you can't wait to be alone together later.

2) Share the Same Bedtime.
It's a rule we made when we got married: we will go to bed together each night. I (Janine) am a night owl. Ken gets up early for work, so he's a morning person. For the sake of our relationship, I made the decision to let go of some of those unfinished tasks and get to bed earlier. If you aren't physically in bed together (awake...) then the chances of intimate encounters go WAY down. Bedtime is also one of the best times of the day to chat, snuggle, and just be close.

3) Microwaves and Crockpots.
Men are typically "rapid responders" (like microwaves) and women take time to "warm up" (like crock pots). As I (Ken) learned to slow down and focus on Janine, I became aware just how important foreplay is. As a result, our lovemaking became more mutual, passionate, and fulfilling.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
4) Connect: Not Just in the Bedroom.
For most women, sexuality is not something that can be compartmentalized. Women are more likely to be 'in the mood' for sex if their husband has shown that he cares about her by listening to what's on her mind, throughout the day.

5) Kid Free.
We made it a priority for our kids to sleep in their own room at night. They knew they were allowed and welcome to come into our room in the morning.  Establishing this family 'rule' or tradition was one way we kept our physical intimacy a priority.  

6) Avoid Pornography.
Pornography has a detrimental effect on your Sex Life. Although it may not seem like a big deal to "use a little porn", it can easily lead to serious addiction. It creates emotional detachment during sex, and detachment from the relationship as a whole. This is dangerous for any marriage. Here is a link to one of many good articles out there on this topic: Is Pornography Destroying your Marriage?

7) Talk about it.
It may not be comfortable to talk about sex, but we encourage you to bite the bullet and just talk about it. Like we mentioned in our last blog post, reading Dr. Kevin Leman's book, Sheet Music together helped us open the lines of communication in this touchy area (pun intended). Our friends also recommended the book: Hot, Holy, and Humorous by J. Parker.

Here's a question to get you started: "What is one of my favorite memories of a time when we made love?"

Enjoy!!!

Comments

  1. Meditation has been associated with asceticism and monks, which is why it has taken us this long to get around to exploring its effects on sex. Sexual health

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Other Popular Posts

Loving Your Way through February

It is said that February is the month for lovers. Having five kids in 10 years, Nick and I spent many years focusing on kid activities for Valentine’s Day. But romance has always been a priority for us, and if February has to be an excuse to be romantic, I say bring it on!

My (insert cuss word) Valentine

CHRIS : I knew Michelle was the one from the moment we met. But the thing that made it unquestionable for me was when we went  shopping together right after Christmas and the store clerks were busy changing out shelves to Valentine’s Day items. Michelle turned to me and said, “Good grief. If that isn’t the perfect image of how commercial that holiday is...”. I was hooked. She was beautiful, smart and placed  absolutely NO value on Valentine's Day.  Fast forward a few years into our marriage when   a simple  Valentine’s    gift turned out to be not so simple.

When All Else Fails . . . Eat Ice Cream

For many of us the COVID honeymoon is long over.  Isolation, loss of routines, access to the gym, financial worries, working from home and changing school schedules has had us stretched too thin too long.  We'd rather eat an entire loaf of bread than bake one and if we hear how much someone enjoys the extra time with their kids we'll scream!  This is COVID Stress.  We've all experienced it.

Getting More of What You Want in Your Marriage

Recently, we attended a work-shop on how to incorporate more positivity into our lives. We were reminded how easily the challenges of life can dominate our thinking. This can be especially true where our couple relationship is concerned. Have you ever thought, “He never gives me any affection” or “She always nags me”?

Tell Her She’s Pretty and Let Him Go Golfing

     Kids say the funniest things. But sometimes, the things they say can teach us a thing or two. Our friends Greg and Cecilia have five children between 1 and 11 years old. They asked their four oldest kids to answer some questions about marriage. Here's what they had to say: Why do people get Married? Because they love each other.  Because they kiss each other. How do you know Mom and Dad love each other?

Sex: Spontaneous or Planned . . . Let the Conversation Begin

  Happy New Year to all!  We are so grateful that 2020 is clearly in our rear-view mirror.  What a relief.  The start of a new year is traditionally set aside for reflection and resolutions.  For us, 2021 was no different. We often make couple as well as individual resolutions.  Stress and busyness, age and life in general had cooled our sexual relationship to a slow simmer.  Our 2021 goal is :  " Some is good.  More is better! "  Planned or spontaneous -- all is good! Let the conversation begin.

The Super-Power of Affirmation

  JULIE: I’m not a superhero.   While I can’t fly faster than a speeding bullet, make myself invisible, or read people’s minds, I CAN harness the super-power of affirmation by   telling John the numerous reasons he is special to me or the many traits I admire in him.   Never underestimate the super-power of affirmation to build up your spouse and enhance your relationship.

8 Misunderstandings That Are Hurting Your Sex Life

Why are we writing about sex again?  Sex in marriage is more important than most people think.  It's mysterious. There are a lot of "layers" and complexities to this whole topic.... read on... 

Looking Forward with Hope and Promise to 2021

2020 will soon be in our rear-view mirror . . .  We look forward with hope and promise to 2021.     W e at The Couples Post   have shared in a practical way how we are so much stronger together as a couple.  May that strength help us navigate 2021 and beyond. 

10 Things Women Want

1)  Learn her “Love Language :"   And speak it often! (Learn more:  What Language Are You Speaking? ) Janine’s love language is “Acts of Service.” So, when I vacuum or do dishes or cook, it fills up her ‘love tank' - her mood brightens and there’s a whole different vibe between us.   I can tell I’ve found a direct path to her heart.