Skip to main content

3 Tips to Make Your Marriage Thrive

Photo Credit:  Estee Janssens

We hope this summer found you thriving, with plenty of time in the sun to relax and catch up with family and friends.  As these carefree days come to an end, we have some tips to help you continue to thrive.

Fall gets busy --
a return to school for kids and parents. Everything kicks into full swing with demands on our time to volunteer.  Sports grab our attention.  The ritual of hunting to fill the freezer can make wide swaths on the calendar.  The days are growing shorter as ironically the demands on our time increase.

Time is precious.  Like money, we need to budget it wisely.  For many of us, the tendency is to give and give until we are literally spent.  Most of us know the strain an overdraft creates on the checkbook.  We can attest the stress is even greater on a marriage when either or both of us create a drain on the 'time' account.  We have found it helpful to look at 3 categories when we budget our time and energy:  1.  Personal needs, 2.  Family needs and 3. Relationship needs.

  • Any self-help book or Psychologist will attest that if your Personal needs are not met, your ability to be your best self will diminish.  Replenishing this account might include exercise, recreation, reading and time with friends, hobbies or projects.  Raising kids keeps this simple by necessity, but it is important to budget time just for you.  Put adequate sleep in this category, too.
  • Family needs are obvious, time consuming and can become overwhelming.  Helping kids learn to budget their time may include saying no to one more activity so we can maintain sanity.  Caring for grandkids, while a joy, takes time as does caring for aging parents.  You may need to include them in your budget.  Be practical and include work.  Like sleep it's a necessity.  
    Photo Credit:  Joshua Ness
    Balancing time and energy in this area requires constant communication.  Don't assume anything.  Taking on a project, no matter how small, is no different from making a substantial purchase.  It requires thought, plenty of discussion and a mutual decision.
  • Too often we forget if we want our marriage to thrive (and who wouldn't?) we need to budget time for Relationship needs.  We have found this critical to our marriage.  We need quality time to connect daily.  This does not happen when we are preoccupied or when children demand our attention (and when teens want to talk you need to be immediately available).  Early in our marriage we learned to budget uninterrupted time every day to talk about us, our needs and other important stuff.  We call this dialogue.  A date night is a luxury and you deserve it.  Keep it simple to make it happen!  Click here for Fall Date Night ideas.  Make a commitment to go to bed together.  Pillow talk, a back or foot rub may be all you need to get a relaxing night's sleep and awaken with energy.  It is amazing how much faster the 2 of you can whip through chores at the end of the day if the goal is going to bed together at a reasonable hour. 
Want to thrive?  Take these 3 Tips to heart.  Share with us ideas you have found helpful to make your transition into fall successful.
Photo Credit:  Valerie Elash


Other Popular Posts

5 Things Men Want

1. RESPECT: (KEN) : When a man is asked, 'Would you rather be respected or loved?' most would choose being respected.  In his book Love and Respect , Dr. E. Eggerichs explains this tendency.   (JANINE) : For years, I didn't appreciate how important it was to Ken that I treat him with respect.  I also didn't understand how hurtful it was when I dis respected him.  When I show Ken respect ( by affirming his decisions,  avoiding sarcasm or by not using a demeaning tone) it translates (for him) into feeling 'loved.'  Another way to say this is: when a man is dis respected, he receives the message he is NOT loved. 2.  SEX:  

What Can’t You Afford to Edit out of Your Story?

Michelle: When I was a teenager, I remember coming home after breaking up with a guy and my dad asking me how it went. I gave the inevitable teenage response, “I don’t want to talk about it.” My dad responded, “You don’t have to. But you do need to remember that there are some things in life that you can’t afford to edit out of your story. Is this one of them?”

The 5 "P's" of Constructive Feedback

Photo Credit:  Ian Schneider (Reprise of post originally published on 09-16-2019) We once read an article on criticism in marriage.  The Author's bottom line was "don't do it."  Even asking: "Can I give you some feedback?" was cautioned against.  Sometimes suggestions given with the best intent with regard to work, chores, relationships with the kids can back fire.  Think back seat driving.  Experience has taught us 5 Key Points for when we just want to give each other a little suggestion.  These 5 simple points set the tone and enable us to let down our defenses and be supportive of each other when offering a little constructive feedback.   

Remember When...

It's easy to get lost in our day-to-day. Once we're out of the honeymoon phase of marriage and real life settles in, we develop routines and patterns of behavior. We become consumed by the here and now, and sometimes we can lose sight of the excitement and passion that brought us together and inspired us to get married in the first place.

The Healing Power of Touch

  Our last blog explored a super power we all have within us – the Super Power of Affirmation.    But did you know that you possess another Super Power?  It’s the Healing Power of Touch.  Holy Hole in a Doughnut, Batman!  Bet you didn’t know you had all that in you!

Easter Greetings!

 Dear Readers, As Spring unfolds and we continue to recover from this pandemic, there could not be a more wonderful time to nurture relationship growth. Wishing you a Happy Easter and a Springtime of Promise. From all of us at TheCouplesPost

When All Else Fails . . . Eat Ice Cream

For many of us the COVID honeymoon is long over.  Isolation, loss of routines, access to the gym, financial worries, working from home and changing school schedules has had us stretched too thin too long.  We'd rather eat an entire loaf of bread than bake one and if we hear how much someone enjoys the extra time with their kids we'll scream!  This is COVID Stress.  We've all experienced it.

10 Things Women Want

1)  Learn her “Love Language :"   And speak it often! (Learn more:  What Language Are You Speaking? ) Janine’s love language is “Acts of Service.” So, when I vacuum or do dishes or cook, it fills up her ‘love tank' - her mood brightens and there’s a whole different vibe between us.   I can tell I’ve found a direct path to her heart.  

8 Misunderstandings That Are Hurting Your Sex Life

Why are we writing about sex again?  Sex in marriage is more important than most people think.  It's mysterious. There are a lot of "layers" and complexities to this whole topic.... read on... 

Getting More of What You Want in Your Marriage

Recently, we attended a work-shop on how to incorporate more positivity into our lives. We were reminded how easily the challenges of life can dominate our thinking. This can be especially true where our couple relationship is concerned. Have you ever thought, “He never gives me any affection” or “She always nags me”?