Nick: Call it a “sixth sense,” but I can tell when my kids’
eyes are on Jen and me. I can
practically hear their eyes rolling whenever we touch each other.
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| From GIPHY |
When I come home and take a moment to find Jen and embrace
her, and I meet one of our kids’ eyes, I’m treated to a facial expression that
says “get a room.” Though I should know
better than to let it bother me, I have to admit, it’s still a challenge for
me. I didn’t grow up in a very
touchy-feely home, so my knee-jerk reaction to getting the stare from one of
our children is to want to jump back from Jen like we’re two kids dancing too
close together in junior high when the grown-ups walk by.
Seriously though, what is the alternative? Everywhere I go, I see couples with kids
between them. Sitting in movie theaters
and on their couches at home, mom – kids – dad, sending the message: kids first and spouse second. If we let that become the norm, we’re asking
for trouble. We worry about our
affection being too uncomfortable, but I’d honestly rather our kids tell us to
“get a room” than wonder if we are still in love with each other at all.
Jen: I grew up in a home where my parent’s intimacy faded
and eventually was gone. Home became an uncomfortable place that was thick with
tension. Physical intimacy is important
in every intimate relationship. We read an article about how important intimate
contact is OUTSIDE of the bedroom entitled, “How
Often You Kiss Your Man Reveals How Long Your Relationship Will Last.” One of the points made is that if we are not
in touch with each other throughout the day, the resulting distance between us can
be difficult to bridge.
So for me, getting the stare from our kids means we are
doing something right. When we take the time to share a kiss or touch, we are
fueling our relationship and teaching our kids that it is OK to show affection
to each other. Our kids are being reassured that we are on solid ground. It
becomes a game, like when one of them makes fake loud smooching noises at us as
we kiss, or when another tells us, “I’m immune to romance” when he catches us
in an embrace. Our obvious romance
becomes a part of the fun of our home. We are not embarrassing them or
ourselves with our PDAs. We are simply solidifying their trust in the stability
of our home.
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| No children were harmed in the posing of this photo |
Love, love, love this! My parents were always openly affectionate, which is disturbing as a kid, but one of my favorite memories of them as an adult. It's amazing how your perspective changes with age!
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