Skip to main content

Marriage Magic

Photo Credit:  Jared Lind on Unsplash
 As we become immersed in this holiday season we are drawn to the magic.  Recall the wonder and awe of your childhood, reindeers that fly and a Santa who made dreams come true.  Fast-forward several decades.  Remember the rush of feelings when you knew your spouse was 'the one'.  You reveled in discovering this person who showered you with love and support.
Years later:  Reality check:  Cinderella and Prince Charming is a Fairy Tale.  No  one is perfect and no spouse magically  walks on water.  Enter life with its busyness, stress and an ever-increasing number of social media relationships to distract us.  We change.  Our relationship evolves.

But we don't have to lose the magic.  Marriage magic  can be like a fine wine maturing with age.  Google "Wine Making 101".  It's complicated -- just like marriage.  But with a little TLC and practice both are possible.  For us, choosing to see the goodness in each other and sharing those special qualities with each other is crucial to keeping the magic alive.

(MF)  At the end of the day, I want nothing more than to curl up with Tom and re-charge.  Once rested, I can feel the magic we share.  Whether it's Tom's thoughtfulness in the office, his joy arriving home, his cheerfulness in the kitchen or the twinkle in his eye at my suggestion to go to bed early.  Sharing my appreciation of these qualities with him as I awaken grounds my day in gratitude.  Grounded in reality.  What we have is our reality.  It doesn't change the reality of oversights, my To-Do List, or kittens racing across the dining room table.  But my outlook changes when my attitude is one of gratitude.  Starting my day focused on the goodness that Tom brings to my life is magical for me.

(TOM)  Gratitude for me is appreciating the gifts in my life.  I have so much to be grateful for, but the top of my list is being loved by MF.  Expressing my gratitude in word and action with affirmation and upholding my commitments reflects back to MF the effect of her love for me.  It allows me to be a more generous lover.  When I'm spontaneous in sharing my joy or when I treat MF as the gift she is in my life the magic returns.  The real magic is love and acting on it.

Photo Credit: Cathal Mac an Bheatha on Unsplash
Pining, longing, and wondering "What if?" can be an invitation to look elsewhere to fulfill unmet desires.  Gratitude doesn't have to stifle your growth and lead to complacency.  Let gratitude energize you.  It has been said:  "What we focus on will change what we observe around us."  In this season of giving, focus on the gift of your spouse.  Keep the magic alive.

Comments

Other Popular Posts

Sex: Spontaneous or Planned . . . Let the Conversation Begin

  Happy New Year to all!  We are so grateful that 2020 is clearly in our rear-view mirror.  What a relief.  The start of a new year is traditionally set aside for reflection and resolutions.  For us, 2021 was no different. We often make couple as well as individual resolutions.  Stress and busyness, age and life in general had cooled our sexual relationship to a slow simmer.  Our 2021 goal is :  " Some is good.  More is better! "  Planned or spontaneous -- all is good! Let the conversation begin.

Verbal Judo – Harmonizing Your Tone of Voice

Some time ago, we wrote about the importance of being aware of the Tone of Voice we use with our spouse. The gist of the post was that our Tone of Voice is the key culprit that begins most disagreements, hurts, and fights between spouses. We want to revisit this important topic and provide some additional helpful hints we’ve learned along the way.

The Elf on the Shelf

It’s that time of year – you know, when our kids are all on their best behavior and the most frequent threat you hear parents utter is “Santa is watching!” The latest craze is the Elf on the Shelf. The elf moves around your home, keeping its eye on your kids and causing a little mayhem along the way. Maybe your elf plays a game with a few of the stuffed animals in the house. Perhaps it gets into your cookie jar. Maybe it even spills flour in your kitchen. No matter what, the kids know it’s watching them. So, what if the elf was watching you and your spouse? Would he tell Santa to bring you a present or put a lump of coal in your stocking?

8 Misunderstandings That Are Hurting Your Sex Life

Why are we writing about sex again?  Sex in marriage is more important than most people think.  It's mysterious. There are a lot of "layers" and complexities to this whole topic.... read on... 

Looking Forward with Hope and Promise to 2021

2020 will soon be in our rear-view mirror . . .  We look forward with hope and promise to 2021.     W e at The Couples Post   have shared in a practical way how we are so much stronger together as a couple.  May that strength help us navigate 2021 and beyond. 

Happy Holidays? In 2020? Yes!

" It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”     ― Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas! W hether our holiday family traditions have been around for generations or started in our own marriage, one thing is for certain - 2020 has upended them all.

Great Sex!

Photo by  ijeab  /  Freepik     Sex between a married couple is not only good, it’s very good. If you read the research and surveys, you will find that married couples experience better and more frequent sex than non-married couples. Married couples are healthier, happier, and live longer. When we went on a WorldWide Marriage Encounter weekend, we were more than a little surprised when a priest told us that our love-making is good, is important for us, and is important to the world. He encouraged us to “make mad passionate love!”     So, why has married sex become something else? Society and media portray sex for married couples as dull and lifeless, a tool used to manipulate, something to joke about, and something that - beyond the newlywed phase- gradually drifts away. We’ve been sold this bill of goods, and we often buy into it! What we really crave in our sex life is to give and receive something powerful- to experience the depths of our passion and love for each other, t

10 Things Women Want

1)  Learn her “Love Language :"   And speak it often! (Learn more:  What Language Are You Speaking? ) Janine’s love language is “Acts of Service.” So, when I vacuum or do dishes or cook, it fills up her ‘love tank' - her mood brightens and there’s a whole different vibe between us.   I can tell I’ve found a direct path to her heart.  

I Married YOU, Not Your Family

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels Growing up and getting married means that we leave our family of origin and start a new family.  We’re not asked to forget about mom and dad, but we do need to remember that our spousal relationship is important to take care of because it becomes the solid ground where we plant our new roots.

Marriage is a VERB

Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb.  It isn't something you get.  It's something you do.  It's the way you love your partner every day."