Skip to main content

Grieving in Isolation

As the Covid-19 quarantine drags on, one thing is clear – we are all collectively grieving.  We lament the loss of our freedom, vacations, jobs, financial stability, sporting events, milestone celebrations, social activities, and missed opportunities, such as holding a newborn grandchild.  We ache for physical touch and long to greet our loved ones with hugs and kisses. Even more acutely, we mourn the loss of beloved family and friends who have died during this time, deprived of the funeral they deserve and keeping us from comfort and closure.    We also grieve the mounting death toll in our communities and our world.

JOHN:  My “grieving in isolation” started in earnest the day we delivered groceries to my sheltering-in-place parents.  We dropped the bags off on the porch and kept an awkward and unnerving distance as they stood inside the open doorway, knowing we could not risk our usual bear hugs. I felt sad when we backed out of the driveway shouting “We Love You!” across their front yard.

JULIE:  I was struggling with the sudden death of my best girlfriend from college when the coronavirus madness hit.  It was as if the rug had been pulled out from under me.  I so desperately wanted to share hugs and time with her family.  I was overwhelmed, completely shutting down at times.  I would lay curled up on the couch, tears streaming down my face as I tried to make sense of it all. 

JOHN:  I wasn’t sure how to help Julie through all of this.  I held her while she cried.  I listened when she needed to talk, but also gave her time alone to get lost in playing music or singing.  I held her hand as we walked around the neighborhood in silence.  I simply tried to be there for her.

JULIE:   John’s attentiveness brought me great comfort. I also learned to not be so hard on myself, allowing myself the freedom to cry when needed and laugh when I can. I felt touched by our kids, family members, and friends reaching out to me from afar.  It’s not the same as hugs, but in this time of quarantine it certainly helps.  Focusing on helping others has also been a soothing balm for my heart.

JOHN:  When our brother-in-law lost his dad a few weeks ago, it was really difficult to not physically be with my sister’s family as they mourned. We sent cards, called often, and texted daily to check in.  We even tried to lighten things up by sending a delivery of their favorite gourmet popcorn. We did what we could to lighten their burden as we all sheltered in place. 

However you are dealing with grief, please know that you are not alone.  For ways to cope, check out


Other Popular Posts

5 Things Men Want

1. RESPECT: (KEN) : When a man is asked, 'Would you rather be respected or loved?' most would choose being respected.  In his book Love and Respect , Dr. E. Eggerichs explains this tendency.   (JANINE) : For years, I didn't appreciate how important it was to Ken that I treat him with respect.  I also didn't understand how hurtful it was when I dis respected him.  When I show Ken respect ( by affirming his decisions,  avoiding sarcasm or by not using a demeaning tone) it translates (for him) into feeling 'loved.'  Another way to say this is: when a man is dis respected, he receives the message he is NOT loved. 2.  SEX:  

What Can’t You Afford to Edit out of Your Story?

Michelle: When I was a teenager, I remember coming home after breaking up with a guy and my dad asking me how it went. I gave the inevitable teenage response, “I don’t want to talk about it.” My dad responded, “You don’t have to. But you do need to remember that there are some things in life that you can’t afford to edit out of your story. Is this one of them?”

The 5 "P's" of Constructive Feedback

Photo Credit:  Ian Schneider (Reprise of post originally published on 09-16-2019) We once read an article on criticism in marriage.  The Author's bottom line was "don't do it."  Even asking: "Can I give you some feedback?" was cautioned against.  Sometimes suggestions given with the best intent with regard to work, chores, relationships with the kids can back fire.  Think back seat driving.  Experience has taught us 5 Key Points for when we just want to give each other a little suggestion.  These 5 simple points set the tone and enable us to let down our defenses and be supportive of each other when offering a little constructive feedback.   

Remember When...

It's easy to get lost in our day-to-day. Once we're out of the honeymoon phase of marriage and real life settles in, we develop routines and patterns of behavior. We become consumed by the here and now, and sometimes we can lose sight of the excitement and passion that brought us together and inspired us to get married in the first place.

The Healing Power of Touch

  Our last blog explored a super power we all have within us – the Super Power of Affirmation.    But did you know that you possess another Super Power?  It’s the Healing Power of Touch.  Holy Hole in a Doughnut, Batman!  Bet you didn’t know you had all that in you!

Easter Greetings!

 Dear Readers, As Spring unfolds and we continue to recover from this pandemic, there could not be a more wonderful time to nurture relationship growth. Wishing you a Happy Easter and a Springtime of Promise. From all of us at TheCouplesPost

When All Else Fails . . . Eat Ice Cream

For many of us the COVID honeymoon is long over.  Isolation, loss of routines, access to the gym, financial worries, working from home and changing school schedules has had us stretched too thin too long.  We'd rather eat an entire loaf of bread than bake one and if we hear how much someone enjoys the extra time with their kids we'll scream!  This is COVID Stress.  We've all experienced it.

10 Things Women Want

1)  Learn her “Love Language :"   And speak it often! (Learn more:  What Language Are You Speaking? ) Janine’s love language is “Acts of Service.” So, when I vacuum or do dishes or cook, it fills up her ‘love tank' - her mood brightens and there’s a whole different vibe between us.   I can tell I’ve found a direct path to her heart.  

8 Misunderstandings That Are Hurting Your Sex Life

Why are we writing about sex again?  Sex in marriage is more important than most people think.  It's mysterious. There are a lot of "layers" and complexities to this whole topic.... read on... 

Getting More of What You Want in Your Marriage

Recently, we attended a work-shop on how to incorporate more positivity into our lives. We were reminded how easily the challenges of life can dominate our thinking. This can be especially true where our couple relationship is concerned. Have you ever thought, “He never gives me any affection” or “She always nags me”?