The Couples Post

Julie:When our kids were small, it was easy to keep peace in the nest.Mama and Daddy bird had the final say and that was it.Ah, little kids, little problems.Things got a little trickier as those baby birds grew into fledglings.As our kids grew and stretched their wings, they asserted their increasing independence and often challenged our rules and decisions.As young adults who have left the nest, they are more respectful when they return home, but things can still get a little tense as we are still their parents and they are still our kids.

"I disagree!"  "What?!?!"  "You don't understand." When husbands and wives disagree, things can get tense.  We dig in our heels, raise the volume, and let our emotions get the best of us.  Arguments can turn into a competition to win (as if anyone every truly "wins" in an argument). Whenever we hear ourselves say, "You always....," or "You never...," we know we're marching down the wrong road.  So how can we settle disagreements? 

Cloudy fall days, work stress, our daughter moving 4 states away…daily political calls, longing to return to normal life...Our souls have felt weary lately.We’ve felt lazy towards our relationship, too: choosing not to resolve little issues when they arise, being less affectionate, watching more TV, and even falling asleep without saying good night.Basically, we’ve been apathetic about life and about our marriage.

When we were dating, supporting each other in our hopes and dreams seemed easy. As we get older, it ismore difficult at times to set aside our own individual wants and focus on each other’s desires. We’ve noticed that the times we were strongest as a couple were the very times we set our own desires aside in order to support each other in the ways we each needed most.