Skip to main content

Stale Crackers

Photo by Pixabay via Pexels

It first struck us when we had to throw away all the crackers in the pantry because they were past their expiration date – it’s been a very, very long time since we’ve entertained a group of friends at home.

We usually don’t eat crackers, but we do like to entertain people who might, especially if there are cracker toppings and wine involved. Throwing crackers away was a sad reminder of all the gatherings we would have had but didn’t because of COVID.

Jen: Nick and I have loved entertaining guests since before we were married. I am an extrovert, and I am invigorated by interactions with others. As many memes have expressed, COVID has been extremely difficult for extroverts because of the isolation. While Nick and I have a big family at home and any number of online meetings through work and volunteering, the inability to have in-person interaction with friends has had an effect on me and on our relationship. It has become a missing piece in the puzzle of our lives.

Nick: I’m the introvert.  Before COVID came along, if you’d told me there was something coming that would make everyone slow down and I’d get more time at home, I would have told you it sounded too good to be true.  Yet, the reality of this time, its fears, and the isolation from our friends and family has worn on me.  It’s been a stark call-out on the fantasy I had that there was no such thing as too much alone time.  I don’t like big, anonymous crowds, but not being able to have our close friends over is no fun.  Even when we have a small number over, norms of social distancing and mask wearing are a constant reminder that things are not normal.

Jen: Balancing our calendar pre-COVID was a challenge because of the ways we are different (extrovert vs. introvert). I thrive on activity where Nick mostly sees it as obligation. Since March, our balancing act has changed. For me, the new challenge is helping Nick step out of his tendency to be content on his own. I have to push past my tendency to fill my need for interaction with social media or streaming shows and reach out to draw him out into interaction outside of his head.

Nick: Knowing Jen is an extrovert, I need to be especially aware of her need for authentic, in-person human interaction.  I have to challenge myself not to just retreat into my own head when I’m coping with things.  I need to be patient with Jen and even more willing to listen to her now than before the pandemic.  I realize that most days I’ll be the only outlet my extrovert has.

How about you?  What does your introvert/extrovert spouse need? We encourage you to take some time this week to reflect on the way the pandemic has impacted your spouse.

Photo by Ekaterina Bolovtsova via Pexels


Comments

Other Popular Posts

Great Sex!

Photo by  ijeab  /  Freepik     Sex between a married couple is not only good, it’s very good. If you read the research and surveys, you will find that married couples experience better and more frequent sex than non-married couples. Married couples are healthier, happier, and live longer. When we went on a WorldWide Marriage Encounter weekend, we were more than a little surprised when a priest told us that our love-making is good, is important for us, and is important to the world. He encouraged us to “make mad passionate love!”     So, why has married sex become something else? Society and media portray sex for married couples as dull and lifeless, a tool used to manipulate, something to joke about, and something that - beyond the newlywed phase- gradually drifts away. We’ve been sold this bill of goods, and we often buy into it! What we really crave in our sex life is to give and receive something powerful- to experience the depths of our passion and love for each other, t

8 Misunderstandings That Are Hurting Your Sex Life

Why are we writing about sex again?  Sex in marriage is more important than most people think.  It's mysterious. There are a lot of "layers" and complexities to this whole topic.... read on... 

10 Stay at Home Date Night Ideas

Date Night has become a household term in recent years and many couples strive to make this quality time together a priority in our increasingly fast paced lives. Throw some kids into the mix (or in our case a granddaughter), and it’s even harder to carve out quality couple time. Not to worry because finance guru Dave Ramsey has come to our rescue with not only a whole host of date night ideas, but most of them are budget friendly. We’d like to highlight 10 of Dave’s Stay at Home Date Night ideas! 

Marriage Manners Matter

Photo Credit: Thought Catalog "Fine!" and "Whatever!"   These 2 powerful words have the incredible potential to bring nearly any discussion to a screeching halt.  They send the insensitive message of "I don't care. Discussion over.  Period. Full stop!"   As married couples, we have probably used these or similar words.  And, if we have raised children we have probably employed time out, taken the car keys or other forms of discipline. Those 2 little words are not   the focus of this blog.

Annual Marriage Tune-Up

A number of years ago, some friends of ours told us about a little trick they use to keep their marriage healthy, strong, and vibrant. Every year, they pledge to attend some kind of marriage enrichment event together. According to our friends, this does not mean weekend getaways to the beach, skiing, or going to a bed and breakfast together.

How to FIX Your Spouse

Photo by Alex Jumper Does your spouse do anything that absolutely drives you nuts? Would you like to know how to “fix” them once and for all? Read on.

I Married YOU, Not Your Family

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels Growing up and getting married means that we leave our family of origin and start a new family.  We’re not asked to forget about mom and dad, but we do need to remember that our spousal relationship is important to take care of because it becomes the solid ground where we plant our new roots.

8 Ideas to Help Settle Disagreements in Marriage

"I disagree!"  "What?!?!"  "You don't understand." When husbands and wives disagree, things can get tense.  We dig in our heels, raise the volume, and let our emotions get the best of us.  Arguments can turn into a competition to win (as if anyone every truly "wins" in an argument). Whenever we hear ourselves say, "You always....," or "You never...," we know we're marching down the wrong road.  So how can we settle disagreements? 

Come On, Baby, Light My Fire

Photo by Katie Salerno from Pexels One reason married couples end up together is because there is a physical attraction between them. Some call it chemistry. There are times when we can’t keep our hands off each other.  We make any excuse to be close, to be intimate.