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Definition:  A feeling is a spontaneous inner reaction to a person, place or situation.

  • Like a sneeze, feelings just happen.  
  • No one is to blame for my feelings.  Not me; not my spouse.  
  • Feelings are neither right nor wrong, they just are.  
  • What I DO (my behavior) because I am angry, or excited or frustrated CAN be right or wrong.  
  • My feelings are a guide post. They help me evaluate a situation and choose behaviors that are appropriate.
  • My feelings reflect what is going on deep inside me -- at my core.  Therefore sharing my feelings with my spouse enriches our communication and intimacy.


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