· Discuss expectations before starting a project or free time spent together
· As a couple, discuss priorities to spend your time
· Make time commitments together as a couple
· Look at individual gifts and how to best use them for your relationship
· CHOOSE your attitude before starting work together
o Choose to support your spouse’s to-do’s, job, dreams, etc.
o Other-centeredness, generosity & selflessness vs. independence, self-absorption & stubbornness
o Focus on why you married each other
o Choose to believe that your spouse’s intentions are positive
· Examine behaviors when you struggle with teamwork
o What do my words tell my spouse?
o What does my tone of voice and body language convey? I’m impatient, I don’t care, I’m irritated, I have no time for you
o Am I avoiding? Am I being passive aggressive?
· Be open to compromise
o Recognize that there is your way, my way, and many other ways to get something done that we haven’t even considered yet
o Let go of the need to be right, need for control, need to accomplish MY stuff
· Communicate openly and in a spirit of love by asking questions to better understand the other’s needs, motivations, and feelings:
o What do you think we should do?
o Why is this important to you?
o What would you like for me to do to support you?
o What can I do better?
· Joke and have fun together!