How to Foster Teamwork - A Starter List

· Discuss expectations before starting a project or free time spent together

· As a couple, discuss priorities to spend your time

· Make time commitments together as a couple

· Look at individual gifts and how to best use them for your relationship

· CHOOSE your attitude before starting work together

o Choose to support your spouse’s to-do’s, job, dreams, etc.

o Other-centeredness, generosity & selflessness vs. independence, self-absorption & stubbornness

o Focus on why you married each other

o Choose to believe that your spouse’s intentions are positive

· Examine behaviors when you struggle with teamwork

o What do my words tell my spouse?

o What does my tone of voice and body language convey? I’m impatient, I don’t care, I’m irritated, I have no time for you

o Am I avoiding? Am I being passive aggressive?

· Be open to compromise

o Recognize that there is your way, my way, and many other ways to get something done that we haven’t even considered yet

o Let go of the need to be right, need for control, need to accomplish MY stuff

· Communicate openly and in a spirit of love by asking questions to better understand the other’s needs, motivations, and feelings:

o What do you think we should do?

o Why is this important to you?

o What would you like for me to do to support you?

o What can I do better?

· Joke and have fun together!

Comments

Great Sex!

Sex between a married couple is not only good, it’s very good. If you read the research and surveys, you will find that married couples experience better and more frequent sex than non-married couples. Married couples are healthier, happier, and live longer. When we went on a WorldWide Marriage Encounter weekend, we were more than a little surprised when a priest told us that our love-making is good, is important for us, and is important to the world. He encouraged us to “make mad passionate love!”
So, why has married sex become something else? Society and media portray sex for married couples as dull and lifeless, a tool used to manipulate, something to joke about, and something that - beyond the newlywed phase- gradually drifts away. We’ve been sold this bill of goods, and we often buy into it! What we really crave in our sex life is to give and receive something powerful- to experience the depths of our passion and love for each other, to be as intimate as possible. Our freq…

Advice From a Divorce Lawyer

Yes, this is a strange twist. We recently heard about James J Sexton's book, "If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late." James is a divorce attorney from New York, who started noticing some patterns after 20 years of working with couples whose marriages were ending.

Marriage Manners Matter

"Fine!" and "Whatever!" These 2 powerful words have the incredible potential to bring nearly any discussion to a screeching halt. They send the insensitive message of "I don't care. Discussion over. Period. Full stop!" As married couples, we have probably used these or similar words. And, if we have raised children we have probably employed time out, taken the car keys or other forms of discipline.

Those 2 little words are not the focus of this blog.

Sex on Days Ending in 'Y'

Lovemaking is one of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage. Yet there are so many impediments and inhibitions to making love once those wonderful Honeymoon years are over.

Tone of Voice

Something that we’ve become increasingly aware of in our marriage is how our tone of voice so significantly affects our communication – for better or for worse! It is remarkable how something so seemingly small can make such a huge impact on whether our communication is healthy, productive, and enriching or debilitating, disheartening, and provocative. Believe it or not, tone of voice is huge. WE would go as far as to say tone of voice is at the root of most of the small hurts we experience in our relationship.
Perhaps it would be easier to make our case using an example. Recently, we were trying to get out of the house to go to church and be on time. I (Stephanie) have to admit I am typically the one who is running behind trying to get one last thing put away or rushing because I did not plan my time well. Paul will often playfully turn the hall light on and off letting me know he is by the door ready and waiting. Usually I will laugh it off and tell him I am coming. This particular…

The Couples Post

Search This Blog