1. How was your day?
Go beyond "fine" and get to the specifics. What went well? Not so well? What would you do differently? What did you learn about yourself? What surprised you the most?
2. Make plans for the future
Step away from your daily routine and talk about your dreams for the future . . . family, jobs, retirement, travel, a new shared hobby
3. Talk about the past
Share childhood memories and family stories. How did they help form you into the person you are today? What is there about your past that your spouse may not know? Is there anything from your past that you would change? Is there anything that you regret? Mistakes? Missed opportunities?
4. Talk about your relationship . . . or your physical intimacy
How do you feel about it right now? Where would you like to see growth? What has surprised you the most about your life as a couple? What do you most enjoy about your physical intimacy? What would you like to change?
5. Share random thoughts
Share your 'inner monologue.' (Keep it nice!) Let your spouse join in. Ask for clarification. Be vulnerable with each other and surface your daydreams, thoughts. fears and concerns and see where the conversation leads.
6. Talk about your sphere of influence
Talk about your heroes, political figures, important people in your life, mentors, teachers, movies, books and authors. Who has influenced you? How have they influenced you?
7. Share your dream job
The sky is the limit on this one. If you could pursue any career what would it be? What would you need to change to make that dream job possible? How could you support each other in pursuing those goals? Maybe it is not impossible.
8. Scan the news and discuss current events or a topic of interest
Find a provocative quotation or topic in the news and discuss your separate interpretations or viewpoints. These vibrant discussions can be a great way to learn something new about each other.
9. Play a game, read a book and discuss it
Use the questions from Trivial Pursuit or other games like Scruples to stimulate discussion. Read a book and discuss it together. This is a great way to enrich your lives and learn about each other.
10. Out do each other with laughter
Break out of a conversational rut by sharing funny stories from your past, your current life, and fun memories from your dating years. What do these memories tell you about your personality? Your perspective on life? Your vision of who you would like to become? Have fun with this one.