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Mistakes Made During Conflict
Chris: Recently, Michelle and I were having a conversation about how we spend our free time. Actually, the argument started when Michelle asked, “What do you want to do this weekend?” It quickly escalated into an argument. Research on couple relationships shows that there are three common mistakes made during an argument. Here’s what it looked like for us. Mistake #1: You Change! It is easy for me to have a long list of what Michelle could and should do differently and a brief list of my own shortcomings. Unfortunately, pointing out Michelle’s flaws does not encourage change. Typically, when I ramble off these to her, she becomes defensive. Michelle: Chris said, “You…
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Running Up A Downward Escalator
Ken: Last week we were making our way through the airport with our carry-on bags. As we started down an escalator, I suddenly remembered I left my phone lying in the bathroom at the top of the escalator. In that split second, my only thought was that someone would find it and snatch it. Not today! I turned around with my suitcase, pushed Janine aside as I started trying to run up those steps that were propelling us downward. I fell near the top step but bounced up quickly. With a heroic leap, like a running back jumping into the end-zone, I made it to the top bruised but victorious. The wide-eyed onlookers asked if I was okay, wondering “what’s up with this guy”? Janine: One minute we were casually riding down the…
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The BEST of Your Life
John: “Today is the first day of the BEST of your life.” I retired last Friday after 41 years of working in the IT field. That quote was on the card I received from the team I led. While it is certainly appropriate for retirement, it also rings true in our everyday life. Every day, we can choose to live our best life, regardless of the changes, circumstances, and chaos around us.
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Hurkle-durkling As Emotional Foreplay
Whether it be a lazy mid-April morning with a blanket of snow or a 60-degree day in December, any day is a perfect day to Hurkle-durkle. Think of it as Emotional Foreplay which begins as soon as we open our eyes to each other at the onset of a new day.
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Yelping My Spouse Round One
Chris: As a small business owner, our reviews on Yelp can make or break us. We thought it might be funny to give one another a Yelp review. Here is what we came up with. Michelle: Yelping my husband. Vendor Evaluation: Navigation & Transportation Title: How Many Times Are You Going to Have Siri Say, “Recalculating”? Rating: ⭐ (1/5 Stars) — Would give 0 stars but we did actually arrive at our destination. Contractor Name: Chris (The Navigator)-believes he is a human GPS. Project Scope: A 2-hour one-way trip to Phoenix. The Service Encounter: the Navigator insisted on “taking a shortcut” to avoid a 12-minute delay on the highway. This decision was made without consulting the Primary Stakeholder (me)…
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Coasting
Picture it – you’re on a bicycle, you’ve pedaled and pedaled and put some effort into making it go, and now you are coasting along. The wind in your face feels cool and refreshing and the effort you’re having to put in at this point is minimal – it’s like the bicycle could keep going forever on its own. But if you’re not having to peddle anymore and the bicycle is still moving it can mean only one thing: You’re heading downhill. Now imagine that this is a bicycle built for two and it represents your marriage. Coasting is a dangerous game to play. Downhill coasting can pick up speed…
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Happy Easter from the Couples Post!
From all of us at The Couples Post, we hope you and your families had a wonderful Easter! We will be back next week with a new article to share.
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Have a Blessed Holy Week
From all of us at the Couples Post, we hope you have a blessed Holy Week!
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Top 10 Tips to Ruin Your Marriage
1. Put the Relationship on Autopilot Stop dating your spouse. Stop pursuing. You’ve won them, haven’t you? Transition into roommate mode. Cultivate separate lives, separate friends even separate interests. The marriage will take care of itself, the way houseplants do when you don’t water them. 😜 2. Stop Saying Thank You – It’s Overrated. Gratitude is for new relationships and people who are still trying to impress each other. Your spouse should know they’re appreciated. Stop saying thank you for dinner and other small things… it takes too much energy. 😫 3. Keep Score Marriage can be a competitive sport (with no trophy). Keep a mental spreadsheet of every chore, forgotten anniversary, and argument. Have this info at hand during arguments to ensure you always have the upper hand. 4. Outsource Intimacy …
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Lucky in Marriage
A good marriage takes work and commitment, but sometimes we just get Lucky. Just for fun during this week of Irish celebrations and shenanigans we chose to focus on the times when we just got Lucky in Marriage.
