Skip to main content

TGIF!

Tom and I can say "TGIF!" with very different ideas of what that might look like especially as Friday unfolds into Saturday and Sunday.  I need the weekend to get caught up on stuff and slip in a good workout to make up for slack time during the week.  If I approach the weekend with the attitude "I am the only one that gets anything done around here" and paint Tom as "Mr Slouch" it is pretty unlikely he will enjoy pitching in to help.


For Mary Frances and me the magical key to unlocking our individual agendas starts with a question like "How would I like to spend this weekend?" or " What are my hopes for this weekend?"  We both need Friday to unwind, a simple dinner and a glass of wine, a movie night -- anything to recharge.  I don't mind the necessary work of the weekend.  In fact, I like getting stuff done, especially doing it together.  We have found that a loving conversation before our heads hit the pillow about our expectations for the rest of the weekend is KEY.  For me, work needs to be balanced by relaxation, a nice long walk, or a lazy Saturday morning catching up over coffee.  

Rattling off a to-do list puts ugly expectations on Tom and can ruin a perfectly good weekend.  Friday evening down time sets the tone for both of us.  We are honest with our feelings and desires, listening to each other's hopes, even though they may be drastically different from our own.  I carefully frame my words so I do not manipulate or judge Tom.  Saying "You didn't . . ." or bringing up undone chores is not a good way to start this discussion.  We both work to make sure the focus is on US and not just our weekend.


When Mary Frances and I formulate a plan together with each other's needs at heart we wake up Saturday morning with a TEAM focus.  We can shop together, or give each other needed "Me Time." We can work together and even make a game of pulling the weed with the longest root in the area that will soon produce luscious tomatoes.  Mary Frances understands that I need balance and celebrating that spruced up garage with some romance can turn a good weekend into a GREAT weekend.  We wake up Monday morning re-charged and ready for anything the world can throw at us.

Comments

Other Popular Posts

Great Sex!

Sex between a married couple is not only good, it’s very good. If you read the research and surveys, you will find that married couples experience better and more frequent sex than non-married couples. Married couples are healthier, happier, and live longer. When we went on a WorldWide Marriage Encounter weekend, we were more than a little surprised when a priest told us that our love-making is good, is important for us, and is important to the world. He encouraged us to “make mad passionate love!”
    So, why has married sex become something else? Society and media portray sex for married couples as dull and lifeless, a tool used to manipulate, something to joke about, and something that - beyond the newlywed phase- gradually drifts away. We’ve been sold this bill of goods, and we often buy into it! What we really crave in our sex life is to give and receive something powerful- to experience the depths of our passion and love for each other, to be as intimate as possible. Our freq…

8 Misunderstandings That Are Hurting Your Sex Life

Why are we writing about sex again?  Sex in marriage is more important than most people think.  It's mysterious. There are a lot of "layers" and complexities to this whole topic.... read on...

Intentional Marriage -- 50 Ways

"Intentional" is a popular buzzword these days.  We are intentional in the workplace, in the way we handle our finances, our fitness routine, and the way we raise and discipline our children.  The list goes on and on and for good reason.  Intentional means to do something deliberately, consciously or with purpose.  It means it didn't happen on a whim; someone planned for it to happen and persisted until it happened.

10 Stay at Home Date Night Ideas

Date Night has become a household term in recent years and many couples strive to make this quality time together a priority in our increasingly fast paced lives. Throw some kids into the mix (or in our case a granddaughter), and it’s even harder to carve out quality couple time. Not to worry because finance guru Dave Ramsey has come to our rescue with not only a whole host of date night ideas, but most of them are budget friendly. We’d like to highlight 10 of Dave’s Stay at Home Date Night ideas! 

Annual Marriage Tune-Up

A number of years ago, some friends of ours told us about a little trick they use to keep their marriage healthy, strong, and vibrant. Every year, they pledge to attend some kind of marriage enrichment event together. According to our friends, this does not mean weekend getaways to the beach, skiing, or going to a bed and breakfast together.

How to FIX Your Spouse

Does your spouse do anything that absolutely drives you nuts? Would you like to know how to “fix” them once and for all? Read on.

Advice From a Divorce Lawyer

Yes, this is a strange twist.  We recently heard about James J Sexton's book, "If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late."  James is a divorce attorney from New York, who started noticing some patterns after 20 years of working with couples whose marriages were ending.

Marriage Manners Matter

"Fine!" and "Whatever!" These 2 powerful words have the incredible potential to bring nearly any discussion to a screeching halt.  They send the insensitive message of "I don't care. Discussion over.  Period. Full stop!"   As married couples, we have probably used these or similar words.  And, if we have raised children we have probably employed time out, taken the car keys or other forms of discipline.

Those 2 little words are not  the focus of this blog.

I Married YOU, Not Your Family

Growing up and getting married means that we leave our family of origin and start a new family.  We’re not asked to forget about mom and dad, but we do need to remember that our spousal relationship is important to take care of because it becomes the solid ground where we plant our new roots.

Come On, Baby, Light My Fire

One reason married couples end up together is because there is a physical attraction between them. Some call it chemistry. There are times when we can’t keep our hands off each other.  We make any excuse to be close, to be intimate.