The Grass is Greener . . . Where You Water It

The Grass is Greener...

I love the quote "The grass is greener where you water it." It is especially appropriate this time of year when Wyoming is lush and green. I love the smell of lilacs and the wet earth as everything comes back to life after an incredibly long winter. It's rhubarb and asparagus season and I can't wait to see the green shoots pop their little heads above the soil. I enjoy looking over the fence to sneak a peek at the neighbor's garden and kibbutz about garden plans. Tulips and daffodils are in full bloom and life couldn't be better.

...Where You Water It.

Like Mary Frances, I know it takes a lot of nurturing to get much to grow in this high desert climate and once we hit mid June, significant moisture doesn't return until the snow flies. Mother Nature is doing the nurturing on this soaker of a Saturday morning as we sit and watch the rain drip off the gutter and ponder the ways in which we nurture our marriage. How do we water it, tend to it's needs, savor it's goodness? Do I till the weeds in my own heart? Do we tend to our marriage as we do the garden in good times and bad, in sickness and in health?

A little tender loving care lavished on Tom, a shoulder rub, favorite meal or intimate time together goes a long way, especially when I'm tired or grumpy, or when it is not convenient. Just like sprinkling manure is not my favorite chore as on a hot day it has a bit of a stench; but it does wonders! A heart felt compliment about Tom, especially when it is made to others while he is standing right there is like rich, specially compounded fertilizer. Just what those tender shoots or withering leaves need. Top it off with a little water, a squeeze and a hug and watch it grow!

Mary Frances is the weeder, but even I know water cannot reach a plant that is choked and overgrown by weeds or needs a good pruning. Do I work to prune away my old wood? Can I let go of old hurts, and truly forgive so that I can move on? Weeds of resentment, jealousy, even weeds of low self esteem can choke and suffocate our marriage and prevent nurturing water from soaking deeply into the roots of the love that we promised on our wedding day. Have you watered your marriage today? What do you need to do to allow the nurturing water of love to bear fruit in your relationship?

Comments

Sex: Spontaneous or Planned . . . Let the Conversation Begin

Happy New Year to all! We are so grateful that 2020 is clearly in our rear-view mirror. What a relief. The start of a new year is traditionally set aside for reflection and resolutions. For us, 2021 was no different. We often make couple as well as individual resolutions. Stress and busyness, age and life in general had cooled our sexual relationship to a slow simmer. Our 2021 goal is : " Some is good. More is better! " Planned or spontaneous -- all is good! Let the conversation begin.

Tell Her She’s Pretty and Let Him Go Golfing

Kids say the funniest things. But sometimes, the things they say can teach us a thing or two. Our friends Greg and Cecilia have five children between 1 and 11 years old. They asked their four oldest kids to answer some questions about marriage. Here's what they had to say: Why do people get Married? Because they love each other. Because they kiss each other. How do you know Mom and Dad love each other?

Verbal Judo – Harmonizing Your Tone of Voice

Some time ago, we wrote about the importance of being aware of the Tone of Voice we use with our spouse. The gist of the post was that our Tone of Voice is the key culprit that begins most disagreements, hurts, and fights between spouses. We want to revisit this important topic and provide some additional helpful hints we’ve learned along the way.

8 Misunderstandings That Are Hurting Your Sex Life

Why are we writing about sex again? Sex in marriage is more important than most people think. It's mysterious. There are a lot of "layers" and complexities to this whole topic.... read on...

Looking Forward with Hope and Promise to 2021

2020 will soon be in our rear-view mirror . . . We look forward with hope and promise to 2021. W e at The Couples Post have shared in a practical way how we are so much stronger together as a couple. May that strength help us navigate 2021 and beyond.

Great Sex!

Photo by ijeab / Freepik Sex between a married couple is not only good, it’s very good. If you read the research and surveys, you will find that married couples experience better and more frequent sex than non-married couples. Married couples are healthier, happier, and live longer. When we went on a WorldWide Marriage Encounter weekend, we were more than a little surprised when a priest told us that our love-making is good, is important for us, and is important to the world. He encouraged us to “make mad passionate love!” So, why has married sex become something else? Society and media portray sex for married couples as dull and lifeless, a tool used to manipulate, something to joke about, and something that - beyond the newlywed phase- gradually drifts away. We’ve been sold this bill of goods, and we often buy into it! What we really crave in our sex life is to give and receive something powerful- to experience the depths of our passion and love for each other, t

10 Things Women Want

1) Learn her “Love Language :" And speak it often! (Learn more: What Language Are You Speaking? ) Janine’s love language is “Acts of Service.” So, when I vacuum or do dishes or cook, it fills up her ‘love tank' - her mood brightens and there’s a whole different vibe between us. I can tell I’ve found a direct path to her heart.

The Elf on the Shelf

It’s that time of year – you know, when our kids are all on their best behavior and the most frequent threat you hear parents utter is “Santa is watching!” The latest craze is the Elf on the Shelf. The elf moves around your home, keeping its eye on your kids and causing a little mayhem along the way. Maybe your elf plays a game with a few of the stuffed animals in the house. Perhaps it gets into your cookie jar. Maybe it even spills flour in your kitchen. No matter what, the kids know it’s watching them. So, what if the elf was watching you and your spouse? Would he tell Santa to bring you a present or put a lump of coal in your stocking?

Marriage is a VERB

Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get. It's something you do. It's the way you love your partner every day."

I Married YOU, Not Your Family

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels Growing up and getting married means that we leave our family of origin and start a new family. We’re not asked to forget about mom and dad, but we do need to remember that our spousal relationship is important to take care of because it becomes the solid ground where we plant our new roots.

The Couples Post

Search This Blog