The Couples Post

Marriage Mentors… got one?

Mark’s parents have been married 53 years and are an amazing example of a successful marriage. We are so grateful for the way Mom & Dad have mentored us throughout our 24 years of marriage.

Mom and Dad’s regular phone calls have not only taught us to stay in frequent contact with all our family, but have kept communication lines open and strong. Often deep discussions provide us support in our marriage and in parenting. They listen when we need a sounding board, and only give advice when we ask for it. Their phone calls have been comforting and life-giving over the years.

Through our life challenges, Mom & Dad have been there when we need a shoulder to cry on, to listen to us vent, and to suggest ways to cope.

The four of us discuss different aspects of our relationship. For example, how we communicate and miscommunicate (then resolve it), or the way we compromise when we disagree. Mark’s a lot like Dad, and Mel’s a lot like Mom. As a result, our marriages have many parallels. These conversations show us how to stand the test of time and tell us that we’re on the right track if we’re like they are! Being able to talk with Mom & Dad is a great support for our marriage.

Mom glows as she tells us that Dad washes her car every Wednesday. They do so many thoughtful little things for each other and inspire us to find new ways to do the same.

We have even gotten to where we can joke about our sexual relationships (nothing too detailed!). It started one year when we were newly married; Dad shared that his New Year’s resolution was to have sex every day of the year. Ha! We just had to laugh! At first it was a little bit embarrassing to talk about sex with Mom & Dad, but over time we grew more comfortable. Further, their desire to still flirt, keep the passion burning bright, and share their love with their family taught us to do the same. As a result, we’ve strived to be open with our kids too. They are used to it now, and shared with us this year that we are their role models for how to have a strong marriage. Wow.

If you already have a mentor couple like we do, then consider yourself blessed. If not, we encourage you to seek one out. We especially like to spend time with older couples, who can show us how to have a successful, happy marriage. They teach us how to make our love last for decades.

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