Skip to main content

Relationship Resolutions


Photo by Jared Sluyter

Paul: I dread New Year’s Resolutions. I stopped making them a while back because I would fall off the wagon and then figured, what’s the point? It got me thinking that maybe this year I should do something that might really make an impact in my life. What if Steph and I took a look at our relationship to see where we could improve and resolve to do that?   This would require some serious reflection on my marriage vows and whether or not I am living them out to the fullest.

Steph: When Paul brought this up I thought it was a really great idea. Instead of resolving to exercise more and eat less we could take a serious look at what is working in our relationship and what we could be doing better. When he mentioned looking at our wedding vows as a starting place it occurred to me that I hadn’t thought about the actual vows we professed in a long time. It seemed to me that what we really needed to do was re-evaluate how we were living out our vows to love, honor and cherish each other.

Paul: I decided to reflect on how I am living out my vow to cherish Stephanie. I know she is a person who thrives on physical and verbal signs of affection as well as spending quality time together. I tend to be the type of guy who thinks, “I told you I loved you once; if anything changes, I’ll let you know.” I know I can do a better job of cherishing Steph by making a few simple changes. So here’s my relationship resolution: I resolve to pay her more compliments, sit close to her when watching TV or out for dinner, and being the first person to say, “I love you” rather than simply responding to her when she tells me she loves me.  

Steph:  I decided to reflect on how I am living out my vow to honor Paul. I recalled the many times I have pushed to have my way or corrected him on an insignificant detail as he is telling a story or interrupt him when he is talking to ask a detail oriented question. Honoring Paul all the days of my life means I respect him-his need to be on time, his desire for some down time, his preference to finish a story or even just a thought without interruption. I honor Paul when I remember these things.  So, by re-evaluating how I am living out my vow to honor Paul, I was able to come up with my relationship resolution: I resolve to be on time, to give him some space to be alone, to listen with open ears and closed mouth.

Paul: We hope to make our new approach to New Year’s Resolutions an ongoing process of re-evaluating our relationship throughout the year. By doing this we believe we will be more attentive to our vows of loving, honoring, and cherishing each other.   

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Great Sex!

Sex between a married couple is not only good, it’s very good. If you read the research and surveys, you will find that married couples experience better and more frequent sex than non-married couples. Married couples are healthier, happier, and live longer. When we went on a WorldWide Marriage Encounter weekend, we were more than a little surprised when a priest told us that our love-making is good, is important for us, and is important to the world. He encouraged us to “make mad passionate love!”
    So, why has married sex become something else? Society and media portray sex for married couples as dull and lifeless, a tool used to manipulate, something to joke about, and something that - beyond the newlywed phase- gradually drifts away. We’ve been sold this bill of goods, and we often buy into it! What we really crave in our sex life is to give and receive something powerful- to experience the depths of our passion and love for each other, to be as intimate as possible. Our freq…

Advice From a Divorce Lawyer

Yes, this is a strange twist.  We recently heard about James J Sexton's book, "If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late."  James is a divorce attorney from New York, who started noticing some patterns after 20 years of working with couples whose marriages were ending.

Tone of Voice

Something that we’ve become increasingly aware of in our marriage is how our tone of voice so significantly affects our communication – for better or for worse! It is remarkable how something so seemingly small can make such a huge impact on whether our communication is healthy, productive, and enriching or debilitating, disheartening, and provocative. Believe it or not, tone of voice is huge. WE would go as far as to say tone of voice is at the root of most of the small hurts we experience in our relationship.
Perhaps it would be easier to make our case using an example. Recently, we were trying to get out of the house to go to church and be on time. I (Stephanie) have to admit I am typically the one who is running behind trying to get one last thing put away or rushing because I did not plan my time well. Paul will often playfully turn the hall light on and off letting me know he is by the door ready and waiting. Usually I will laugh it off and tell him I am coming. This particular…