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7 Tips to Improve Your Sex Life


Is sex a priority in your marriage? Sexuality is an important ingredient for a healthy marriage. Here are 7 tips to help....


1) Spice it Up.
Be a flirt. Read a good book on sex for married couples. Plan in a little variety. Text your spouse or leave them a note to let them know you can't wait to be alone together later.

2) Share the Same Bedtime.
It's a rule we made when we got married: we will go to bed together each night. I (Janine) am a night owl. Ken gets up early for work, so he's a morning person. For the sake of our relationship, I made the decision to let go of some of those unfinished tasks and get to bed earlier. If you aren't physically in bed together (awake...) then the chances of intimate encounters go WAY down. Bedtime is also one of the best times of the day to chat, snuggle, and just be close.

3) Microwaves and Crockpots.
Men are typically "rapid responders" (like microwaves) and women take time to "warm up" (like crock pots). As I (Ken) learned to slow down and focus on Janine, I became aware just how important foreplay is. As a result, our lovemaking became more mutual, passionate, and fulfilling.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
4) Connect: Not Just in the Bedroom.
For most women, sexuality is not something that can be compartmentalized. Women are more likely to be 'in the mood' for sex if their husband has shown that he cares about her by listening to what's on her mind, throughout the day.

5) Kid Free.
We made it a priority for our kids to sleep in their own room at night. They knew they were allowed and welcome to come into our room in the morning.  Establishing this family 'rule' or tradition was one way we kept our physical intimacy a priority.  

6) Avoid Pornography.
Pornography has a detrimental effect on your Sex Life. Although it may not seem like a big deal to "use a little porn", it can easily lead to serious addiction. It creates emotional detachment during sex, and detachment from the relationship as a whole. This is dangerous for any marriage. Here is a link to one of many good articles out there on this topic: Is Pornography Destroying your Marriage?

7) Talk about it.
It may not be comfortable to talk about sex, but we encourage you to bite the bullet and just talk about it. Like we mentioned in our last blog post, reading Dr. Kevin Leman's book, Sheet Music together helped us open the lines of communication in this touchy area (pun intended). Our friends also recommended the book: Hot, Holy, and Humorous by J. Parker.

Here's a question to get you started: "What is one of my favorite memories of a time when we made love?"

Enjoy!!!

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