The Couples Post

One of the most challenging things in our marriage was learning to raise responsible, caring, well-adjusted children. Now that our children are adults, we are back to child-rearing mode with our two year old granddaughter who lives with us.  Here are 6 lessons we’ve learned.

You proposed.  She accepted.  White dress, wedding bells.  New house, new bills.  Kids. Jobs. TV. Internet. Full calendar. What happened?  What's next?

We thought our marriage was "fine" but we were focused on running from one kid's sports to the next kid's music lessons.  There wasn't time for those long talks about our future.  Even though we thought the honeymoon would last forever...it didn't.  We were more focused on the kids than on each other.  As the romance faded, we gradually became more aware of each others' flaws.  We lost sight of  who WE were as a couple.

Jen: Life, kids, work and extra-curricular activities suck up so much of our energy each day, that when it comes to interacting with each other, we are often at the end of our rope. When we are having a disagreement we’ve had more than once, I feel worn down and don’t want to deal with it.

"Intentional" is a popular buzzword these days.  We are intentional in the workplace, in the way we handle our finances, our fitness routine, and the way we raise and discipline our children.  The list goes on and on and for good reason.  Intentional means to do something deliberately, consciously or with purpose.  It means it didn't happen on a whim; someone planned for it to happen and persisted until it happened.

We recently went to Disneyland with our adult daughter and our 2 year old granddaughter. All three adults had high hopes for a fun-filled family time at the “happiest” place on earth. When naysayers told us we were crazy for taking a two year old to Disneyland, we scoffed at them. We’ve been there, done this before. But we hadn’t been there, done that with a toddler. The crowds, a cranky toddler, and plenty of unmet expectations led to a communication breakdown that was a debacle for all of us. None of us ended up having much fun and we left a day early.