Skip to main content

3 Steps to a Better Work – Life Balance

Let’s face it – being married and raising a family is hard work. Add in demanding work schedules, children’s activities, volunteer work, and making time for family and friends, and it can be overwhelming. Here are three ways we’ve discovered to keep our work-life better balanced.

Learning to Say No
Steph: No matter what stage you find yourself in – newly married, children at home or empty-nesters – finding balance between couple time and life’s demands can be an ongoing challenge. Paul and I thought once our children left home we would have plenty of time to spend together, but the reality was we filled up extra time with new commitments. Volunteer activities and extra projects at work replaced time spent at our kid’s sporting events. Open spots on our calendar quickly filled. We soon realized that our relationship was once again on the back burner. We realized that in order to say ‘yes’ to our relationship we had to say ‘no’ to some other things.

Being Intentional
Paul: Since I am a task oriented person, it’s easy for me to put projects before people. I get focused on accomplishing my to-do list and sometimes forget that there are people (with feelings) involved. One way I strive to keep our work – life balance in check is by setting limited times for things like answering email and doing extra work from home. I’m also intentional about making my relationship with Stephanie a priority by having regular date nights, asking for forgiveness when there is a hurt between us, and making time each day for us to talk.

Even when we are intentional and say ‘no’ to extra stuff, the busyness seems to creep in unsuspectingly over time. Without realizing it, we still manage to get ourselves back on the busy train and things get out of whack. The tool we use to set this right is re-evaluation. We use a calendar reminder every three months to discuss this question: How are we spending our time and what adjustments do we need to make? Having that regular gut check helps keep us focused on what’s most important – us. When necessary, we make a list of what we’re going to let go of in order to keep our relationship a priority.

What is your secret to a healthy work – life balance? Please share in the comments below.


  1. When we notice a long stretch of evening commitments on our calendar, we write "SCHEDULE NOTHING" on an evening before and after the busy time. We're sure to spend that time alone relaxing and connecting.

    1. Great idea - thank you for sharing! We do something similar by writing "FAMILY DAY" on the calendar and we're not allowed to allow anything else to creep in on those days.


Post a Comment

Other Popular Posts

Sex: Spontaneous or Planned . . . Let the Conversation Begin

  Happy New Year to all!  We are so grateful that 2020 is clearly in our rear-view mirror.  What a relief.  The start of a new year is traditionally set aside for reflection and resolutions.  For us, 2021 was no different. We often make couple as well as individual resolutions.  Stress and busyness, age and life in general had cooled our sexual relationship to a slow simmer.  Our 2021 goal is :  " Some is good.  More is better! "  Planned or spontaneous -- all is good! Let the conversation begin.

Verbal Judo – Harmonizing Your Tone of Voice

Some time ago, we wrote about the importance of being aware of the Tone of Voice we use with our spouse. The gist of the post was that our Tone of Voice is the key culprit that begins most disagreements, hurts, and fights between spouses. We want to revisit this important topic and provide some additional helpful hints we’ve learned along the way.

The Elf on the Shelf

It’s that time of year – you know, when our kids are all on their best behavior and the most frequent threat you hear parents utter is “Santa is watching!” The latest craze is the Elf on the Shelf. The elf moves around your home, keeping its eye on your kids and causing a little mayhem along the way. Maybe your elf plays a game with a few of the stuffed animals in the house. Perhaps it gets into your cookie jar. Maybe it even spills flour in your kitchen. No matter what, the kids know it’s watching them. So, what if the elf was watching you and your spouse? Would he tell Santa to bring you a present or put a lump of coal in your stocking?

8 Misunderstandings That Are Hurting Your Sex Life

Why are we writing about sex again?  Sex in marriage is more important than most people think.  It's mysterious. There are a lot of "layers" and complexities to this whole topic.... read on... 

Looking Forward with Hope and Promise to 2021

2020 will soon be in our rear-view mirror . . .  We look forward with hope and promise to 2021.     W e at The Couples Post   have shared in a practical way how we are so much stronger together as a couple.  May that strength help us navigate 2021 and beyond. 

Great Sex!

Photo by  ijeab  /  Freepik     Sex between a married couple is not only good, it’s very good. If you read the research and surveys, you will find that married couples experience better and more frequent sex than non-married couples. Married couples are healthier, happier, and live longer. When we went on a WorldWide Marriage Encounter weekend, we were more than a little surprised when a priest told us that our love-making is good, is important for us, and is important to the world. He encouraged us to “make mad passionate love!”     So, why has married sex become something else? Society and media portray sex for married couples as dull and lifeless, a tool used to manipulate, something to joke about, and something that - beyond the newlywed phase- gradually drifts away. We’ve been sold this bill of goods, and we often buy into it! What we really crave in our sex life is to give and receive something powerful- to experience the depths of our passion and love for each other, t

Happy Holidays? In 2020? Yes!

" It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”     ― Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas! W hether our holiday family traditions have been around for generations or started in our own marriage, one thing is for certain - 2020 has upended them all.

10 Things Women Want

1)  Learn her “Love Language :"   And speak it often! (Learn more:  What Language Are You Speaking? ) Janine’s love language is “Acts of Service.” So, when I vacuum or do dishes or cook, it fills up her ‘love tank' - her mood brightens and there’s a whole different vibe between us.   I can tell I’ve found a direct path to her heart.  

I Married YOU, Not Your Family

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels Growing up and getting married means that we leave our family of origin and start a new family.  We’re not asked to forget about mom and dad, but we do need to remember that our spousal relationship is important to take care of because it becomes the solid ground where we plant our new roots.

Marriage is a VERB

Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb.  It isn't something you get.  It's something you do.  It's the way you love your partner every day."