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Marriage: Our Security in the Chaos

Paul: Our country and our world has been turned upside down these past few weeks with worry, fear, and anxiety over the Covid-19 pandemic. How does all of this affect the average married couple? How can we thrive instead of merely survive this crisis?

Stephanie and I have each been reacting somewhat differently to the situation. She desires more news and information while I tend to desire little to none. She also wants to talk about it more than I do. I’m just compartmentalizing. Hearing and talking about it just reinforces my powerlessness to do anything about it, so I’d rather focus on other things.

Photo by Jeff Huang, Getty Images
Steph: I was caught off guard by people at Costco hovering around empty toilet paper and hand sanitizer pallets. I found myself searching for any and all information I could find on what was happening. I wanted to be better informed . I’ve also noticed that my outlook has become more negative given all the disruption in our life and in the world. Talking about it keeps me engaged, but it really doesn’t solve anything.

I have learned that even I have a maximum capacity for information on a particular topic especially one where I have little control over the outcome. So, now that I have saturated myself with as much information as I can handle, I am following Paul’s lead and accepting how things are for the time being and doing my part to be a responsible person. In order to stay positive, I choose to trust this too shall pass.

Paul: Like so many things we’ve discovered over the course of our marriage, our differences really  are our strength. Stephanie’s desire to be informed has proven helpful more than once like when we were able to obtain some much needed medicine and food before resources had been depleted. And my inclination against too much information keeps us grounded in the present and in things that we can actually influence, like our attitude and behaviors.

For us, finding security in the chaos has come through appreciating our differences and how our individuality complements and enriches us.

Adapted from the article: Welcome to Marriage During the Coronavirus
By Jennifer Senior


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