Skip to main content

Dream a Little Dream With Me

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

Dr. Seuss 

July 20, 2020.

John:  What seemed like an ordinary Monday was anything but, all because of the vows we made to each other exactly 29 years prior.  As Julie’s brother called to wish us a happy anniversary, he congratulated us and commented that we were “living the dream.” You know what?  He was right. 

Our Big Dream when we were engaged was to happily grow old together while living life to the fullest.  Our Big Dream has really been a series of Little Dreams achieved together, one at a time.  And while we’re not exactly “old,” we’ve certainly grown older…and a little wiser.  We’ve learned that while the dream itself is great, it’s the journey that brings us the real joy.  Sharing our dreams, and then working together to achieve them, has been the thread that has bound us together and made us strong

Julie:  Looking back at our 29 years together, I could see that nearly every decision we made on our marriage journey was a step towards making our Big Dream a reality - decisions to have children, to move to our current house, to change jobs, to always go to bed together, to have date nights, even to spend at least 20 minutes a day talking to just each other. These decisions were made by asking ourselves the question, ”Will this help us to get closer to our Big Dream?” 

John:  There were times when one of us has had a Little Dream that the other was unsure about, like when Julie wanted to start a community theater group.  I wondered if this would take lots of time away from our family and me.  Would I resent this involvement?  Would we be out the startup money if she couldn’t make it go?  Would I have to cook dinner every night?  When I listened to Julie and could see it from her perspective, I realized that this dream was really important to her.  I wanted to support Julie and help her to stretch and grow.  What a surprise it was for me to enjoy it just as much as she did!

Julie:  When John supported my dream of starting a community theater group, it quickly became “our” dream.  John worked tirelessly building sets before productions and then moving them on and off stage when the productions went live.  With a little encouragement, he eventually got onstage himself.  Some of our most magical memories are of playing the roles of a husband and wife on stage.  Working together to make this little dream a reality helped to build trust and ignite a new sense of adventure and fun in our relationship while moving along the trail toward our Big Dream. 

John:  So, what’s your dream for your marriage? It is our hope that looking back years from now, you will also find great joy in your own journey!


Post a Comment

Other Popular Posts

Sex: Spontaneous or Planned . . . Let the Conversation Begin

  Happy New Year to all!  We are so grateful that 2020 is clearly in our rear-view mirror.  What a relief.  The start of a new year is traditionally set aside for reflection and resolutions.  For us, 2021 was no different. We often make couple as well as individual resolutions.  Stress and busyness, age and life in general had cooled our sexual relationship to a slow simmer.  Our 2021 goal is :  " Some is good.  More is better! "  Planned or spontaneous -- all is good! Let the conversation begin.

Verbal Judo – Harmonizing Your Tone of Voice

Some time ago, we wrote about the importance of being aware of the Tone of Voice we use with our spouse. The gist of the post was that our Tone of Voice is the key culprit that begins most disagreements, hurts, and fights between spouses. We want to revisit this important topic and provide some additional helpful hints we’ve learned along the way.

The Elf on the Shelf

It’s that time of year – you know, when our kids are all on their best behavior and the most frequent threat you hear parents utter is “Santa is watching!” The latest craze is the Elf on the Shelf. The elf moves around your home, keeping its eye on your kids and causing a little mayhem along the way. Maybe your elf plays a game with a few of the stuffed animals in the house. Perhaps it gets into your cookie jar. Maybe it even spills flour in your kitchen. No matter what, the kids know it’s watching them. So, what if the elf was watching you and your spouse? Would he tell Santa to bring you a present or put a lump of coal in your stocking?

8 Misunderstandings That Are Hurting Your Sex Life

Why are we writing about sex again?  Sex in marriage is more important than most people think.  It's mysterious. There are a lot of "layers" and complexities to this whole topic.... read on... 

Looking Forward with Hope and Promise to 2021

2020 will soon be in our rear-view mirror . . .  We look forward with hope and promise to 2021.     W e at The Couples Post   have shared in a practical way how we are so much stronger together as a couple.  May that strength help us navigate 2021 and beyond. 

Happy Holidays? In 2020? Yes!

" It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”     ― Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas! W hether our holiday family traditions have been around for generations or started in our own marriage, one thing is for certain - 2020 has upended them all.

Great Sex!

Photo by  ijeab  /  Freepik     Sex between a married couple is not only good, it’s very good. If you read the research and surveys, you will find that married couples experience better and more frequent sex than non-married couples. Married couples are healthier, happier, and live longer. When we went on a WorldWide Marriage Encounter weekend, we were more than a little surprised when a priest told us that our love-making is good, is important for us, and is important to the world. He encouraged us to “make mad passionate love!”     So, why has married sex become something else? Society and media portray sex for married couples as dull and lifeless, a tool used to manipulate, something to joke about, and something that - beyond the newlywed phase- gradually drifts away. We’ve been sold this bill of goods, and we often buy into it! What we really crave in our sex life is to give and receive something powerful- to experience the depths of our passion and love for each other, t

10 Things Women Want

1)  Learn her “Love Language :"   And speak it often! (Learn more:  What Language Are You Speaking? ) Janine’s love language is “Acts of Service.” So, when I vacuum or do dishes or cook, it fills up her ‘love tank' - her mood brightens and there’s a whole different vibe between us.   I can tell I’ve found a direct path to her heart.  

I Married YOU, Not Your Family

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels Growing up and getting married means that we leave our family of origin and start a new family.  We’re not asked to forget about mom and dad, but we do need to remember that our spousal relationship is important to take care of because it becomes the solid ground where we plant our new roots.

Marriage is a VERB

Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb.  It isn't something you get.  It's something you do.  It's the way you love your partner every day."