Skip to main content

My (insert cuss word) Valentine

I knew Michelle was the one from the moment we met. But the thing that made it unquestionable for me was when we went shopping together right after Christmas and the store clerks were busy changing out shelves to Valentine’s Day items. Michelle turned to me and said, “Good grief. If that isn’t the perfect image of how commercial that holiday is...”. I was hooked. She was beautiful, smart and placed absolutely NO value on Valentine's Day.  Fast forward a few years into our marriage when a simple Valentine’s  gift turned out to be not so simple.


Over the years leading up to that gift, I had been gently hinting (some may say nagging), Chris about his language. It was nothing for him to drop some colorful language whether he was happy, upset or in pain. And heaven help anyone who had to endure his language during a football game. To say I was surprised about the gift, is an incredible understatement. But there it was, a swearing jar. It came with a cute little tag that read, “I will pay a dollar for every cuss word that I holler (or say or whisper but not think because that’s not fair)!”

I laughed and said, “Looks like we will be going on a really good vacation this year. “ 


I took Michelle’s flippant comment as a personal challenge. I retorted, “Okay, if I don’t fill up the jar, I will play golf whenever the mood strikes meand if I fill up the jarwe will go wherever you want to go on a vacation.“


The interesting thing is not where we ended up going for vacation (Disney World), but that when he was trying so hard not to cuss, I missed the real and genuine Chris. The guy that dropped the f-bomb because ceiling fans are hard to install.  The same guy who called his golf clubs a dirty name after a bad shot.  After we returned from Disney World, I presented him with a gift of my own. A couple of golf outings for him and his buddies and a recent study I had come across.  The study was in regards to people who cussed.  It stated that people who cuss have a higher intelligence, a stronger ability to manage their own pain and an increase in physical strength.  So, while I may not value the over-commercializing our society has done to Valentine’s Day, I do appreciate taking the day to recognize all of the many reasons I fell in love with my husband; even his damn cussing!!!


Other Popular Posts

5 Things Men Want

1. RESPECT: (KEN) : When a man is asked, 'Would you rather be respected or loved?' most would choose being respected.  In his book Love and Respect , Dr. E. Eggerichs explains this tendency.   (JANINE) : For years, I didn't appreciate how important it was to Ken that I treat him with respect.  I also didn't understand how hurtful it was when I dis respected him.  When I show Ken respect ( by affirming his decisions,  avoiding sarcasm or by not using a demeaning tone) it translates (for him) into feeling 'loved.'  Another way to say this is: when a man is dis respected, he receives the message he is NOT loved. 2.  SEX:  

When All Else Fails . . . Eat Ice Cream

For many of us the COVID honeymoon is long over.  Isolation, loss of routines, access to the gym, financial worries, working from home and changing school schedules has had us stretched too thin too long.  We'd rather eat an entire loaf of bread than bake one and if we hear how much someone enjoys the extra time with their kids we'll scream!  This is COVID Stress.  We've all experienced it.

Getting More of What You Want in Your Marriage

Recently, we attended a work-shop on how to incorporate more positivity into our lives. We were reminded how easily the challenges of life can dominate our thinking. This can be especially true where our couple relationship is concerned. Have you ever thought, “He never gives me any affection” or “She always nags me”?

Loving Your Way through February

It is said that February is the month for lovers. Having five kids in 10 years, Nick and I spent many years focusing on kid activities for Valentine’s Day. But romance has always been a priority for us, and if February has to be an excuse to be romantic, I say bring it on!

10 Things Women Want

1)  Learn her “Love Language :"   And speak it often! (Learn more:  What Language Are You Speaking? ) Janine’s love language is “Acts of Service.” So, when I vacuum or do dishes or cook, it fills up her ‘love tank' - her mood brightens and there’s a whole different vibe between us.   I can tell I’ve found a direct path to her heart.  

Tell Her She’s Pretty and Let Him Go Golfing

     Kids say the funniest things. But sometimes, the things they say can teach us a thing or two. Our friends Greg and Cecilia have five children between 1 and 11 years old. They asked their four oldest kids to answer some questions about marriage. Here's what they had to say: Why do people get Married? Because they love each other.  Because they kiss each other. How do you know Mom and Dad love each other?

Sex: Spontaneous or Planned . . . Let the Conversation Begin

  Happy New Year to all!  We are so grateful that 2020 is clearly in our rear-view mirror.  What a relief.  The start of a new year is traditionally set aside for reflection and resolutions.  For us, 2021 was no different. We often make couple as well as individual resolutions.  Stress and busyness, age and life in general had cooled our sexual relationship to a slow simmer.  Our 2021 goal is :  " Some is good.  More is better! "  Planned or spontaneous -- all is good! Let the conversation begin.

8 Misunderstandings That Are Hurting Your Sex Life

Why are we writing about sex again?  Sex in marriage is more important than most people think.  It's mysterious. There are a lot of "layers" and complexities to this whole topic.... read on... 

The Super-Power of Affirmation

  JULIE: I’m not a superhero.   While I can’t fly faster than a speeding bullet, make myself invisible, or read people’s minds, I CAN harness the super-power of affirmation by   telling John the numerous reasons he is special to me or the many traits I admire in him.   Never underestimate the super-power of affirmation to build up your spouse and enhance your relationship.