It's easy to get lost in our day-to-day. Once we're out of the honeymoon phase of marriage and real life settles in, we develop routines and patterns of behavior. We become consumed by the here and now, and sometimes we can lose sight of the excitement and passion that brought us together and inspired us to get married in the first place.When our kids were younger, this was especially true. There is something about babies, toddlers and young kids that reduces your energy level and inspires you to prioritize sleep and quiet time alone. When conversations between the two of you mostly consist of things like “We need (fill in the blank) at the grocery store” and “Our kids have to be in two places at the same time. How are we going to divide and conquer?” it may be time to sit back and remember how it all started.
Nick: Music was a big part of how it started for me with Jen. I was playing guitar and directing a choir when we first met. She seemed interested in learning how to play, so I started giving her guitar lessons. That didn’t last though, and we moved from lessons to long conversations to wanting to be together all the time. I remember the first time I mustered the courage to give Jen a kiss and the first time I told her I loved her. My heart was racing and I felt as super-awkward as I’ve ever felt, but I remember not being willing to let her go home for the night without just telling her. It was a while ago, but when I sit down and concentrate for just a little bit, I can picture some of those moments and it always brings a smile to my face.
Jen: Having music in common was definitely what drew me to Nick. In addition to that, I loved the way he challenged me, introducing me to different ideas than I had previously considered. We loved playing board games together, and among our favorites were games like Trivial Pursuit and Scrabble. Both of these games (and our dogs) came on our honeymoon with us. We put so much energy into exploring conversations and topics that have gotten lost in the here and now. We were intrigued by each other, and that was enough. Putting myself back in that time, the warm feelings of joy and excitement that I felt then come right back to the surface.
The romance of our honeymoon phase doesn’t have to remain in the past. When we take a little time out to remember the way we started out, we can also bring the romance forward into the here and now. Most every couple we know has some early memories to draw on. We hope that you take some time to do just that and see how it can spark a little new joy and inspiration between you today.