Skip to main content

50 Ways to Love Your Lover




Photo Credit: Tim Foster on Unsplash
  1. Be vulnerable in sharing your feelings, not just your thoughts with your spouse.
  2. Stop what you are doing and really listen to your spouse.  Listen with your eyes.
  3. Put down your cell phones during dinner.  Focus on each other.
  4. In the morning ask your spouse what he/she needs most from you that day.
  5. Carve out time in the evening before you are too tired to share the best and the worst of your day.  Comfort and affirm each other.  
  6. Pray for your spouse.
  7. Pray together for each other.
  8. Share your goals, hopes and dreams for your marriage, for your children.
  9. Send non-agenda texts or place phone calls just to check-in and say I love you.
  10. Compliment your spouse on his/her appearance or a project he/she is involved in.
  11. Praise your spouse in front of the children -- not for something that he/she did, but for a quality or trait that you admire in him/her.
  12. Show affection with each other, not just at home, but in public as well.
  13. Put down what you are doing and snuggle on the couch together.  In front of the kids is perfect.  
  14. Go to bed together even if you are not tired, ready to do so or have your list all crossed off for the day.
  15. Initiate lovemaking when that is not your typical style.
  16. Play together -- with your spouse, your children, and other happily married couples.
  17. Treasure your time together.  Make it a point to make memories together.
  18. Take a break from helping with the homework, TV or dishes and enjoy a sunset.
  19. Dance in the kitchen.
  20. Rake leaves; Play in the leaves and rake them again.
  21. Return to an old favorite parking spot and reminisce.  Celebrate the goodness in each other.
  22. Build a snowman, or a snow fort and have a snowball fight.  Make snow angels.
  23. Surprise your spouse with a planned date night.  Let yourself be spontaneous and really enjoy and appreciate the surprise.
  24. Plan a romantic dinner for the 2 of you after the kids are all tucked into bed.  Prepare and cook it together.
  25. Sip wine or spiked cocoa by a fire.  Make out.  Make love.
  26. Skip the TGIF office party and pick up take-out dinner for the family instead.
  27. Learn a new hobby or sport together.  Take on a new project and accomplish it together (paint a room, put up drywall, refinish a piece of old furniture, create a garden)
  28. Take dance, photography or cooking lessons together.
  29. Turn off the TV and play cards or a board game.
  30. Read a book together and discuss it.
  31. Watch a Romance, Chick Flick, or any movie together and spend time discussing it.  (What character do you most identify?  What inspired you? What surprised you?)
  32. Volunteer together for a community event or serve a meal at a soup kitchen.  Involve the kids if appropriate.
  33. Budget and pay bills together.
  34. Make it a point to sit down together and "de-clutter" the calendar at the beginning of each month.  Carve out time in the margins for the 2 of you.
  35. Help your spouse with a chore that he/she ordinarily would accomplish alone.
  36. Plan menus for the week and go grocery shopping together.
  37. Support and encourage each other in living a healthier lifestyle.  Have a plan and celebrate success -- even the little ones.
  38. Work out together at the Gym or go for a power walk with the kids.
  39. Be polite -- say Please and Thank you.
  40. Don't assume -- ask.
  41. Ask permission.
  42. Ask for help -- don't demand help.
  43. Show gratitude.
  44. Treat each other with the kindness that you did while dating.
  45. Flirt with each other.
  46. Leave a love note in his/her car.
  47. Wash and detail his/her car.
  48. Fill his/her car with gas.
  49. Figure out each other's Love Language and be intentional in sharing your love in the way he/she most appreciates it.
  50. Affirm another couple for the way they live their marriage.

Comments

Other Popular Posts

5 Things Men Want

1. RESPECT: (KEN) : When a man is asked, 'Would you rather be respected or loved?' most would choose being respected.  In his book Love and Respect , Dr. E. Eggerichs explains this tendency.   (JANINE) : For years, I didn't appreciate how important it was to Ken that I treat him with respect.  I also didn't understand how hurtful it was when I dis respected him.  When I show Ken respect ( by affirming his decisions,  avoiding sarcasm or by not using a demeaning tone) it translates (for him) into feeling 'loved.'  Another way to say this is: when a man is dis respected, he receives the message he is NOT loved. 2.  SEX:  

My (insert cuss word) Valentine

CHRIS : I knew Michelle was the one from the moment we met. But the thing that made it unquestionable for me was when we went  shopping together right after Christmas and the store clerks were busy changing out shelves to Valentine’s Day items. Michelle turned to me and said, “Good grief. If that isn’t the perfect image of how commercial that holiday is...”. I was hooked. She was beautiful, smart and placed  absolutely NO value on Valentine's Day.  Fast forward a few years into our marriage when   a simple  Valentine’s    gift turned out to be not so simple.

When All Else Fails . . . Eat Ice Cream

For many of us the COVID honeymoon is long over.  Isolation, loss of routines, access to the gym, financial worries, working from home and changing school schedules has had us stretched too thin too long.  We'd rather eat an entire loaf of bread than bake one and if we hear how much someone enjoys the extra time with their kids we'll scream!  This is COVID Stress.  We've all experienced it.

Getting More of What You Want in Your Marriage

Recently, we attended a work-shop on how to incorporate more positivity into our lives. We were reminded how easily the challenges of life can dominate our thinking. This can be especially true where our couple relationship is concerned. Have you ever thought, “He never gives me any affection” or “She always nags me”?

Loving Your Way through February

It is said that February is the month for lovers. Having five kids in 10 years, Nick and I spent many years focusing on kid activities for Valentine’s Day. But romance has always been a priority for us, and if February has to be an excuse to be romantic, I say bring it on!

10 Things Women Want

1)  Learn her “Love Language :"   And speak it often! (Learn more:  What Language Are You Speaking? ) Janine’s love language is “Acts of Service.” So, when I vacuum or do dishes or cook, it fills up her ‘love tank' - her mood brightens and there’s a whole different vibe between us.   I can tell I’ve found a direct path to her heart.  

Tell Her She’s Pretty and Let Him Go Golfing

     Kids say the funniest things. But sometimes, the things they say can teach us a thing or two. Our friends Greg and Cecilia have five children between 1 and 11 years old. They asked their four oldest kids to answer some questions about marriage. Here's what they had to say: Why do people get Married? Because they love each other.  Because they kiss each other. How do you know Mom and Dad love each other?

Sex: Spontaneous or Planned . . . Let the Conversation Begin

  Happy New Year to all!  We are so grateful that 2020 is clearly in our rear-view mirror.  What a relief.  The start of a new year is traditionally set aside for reflection and resolutions.  For us, 2021 was no different. We often make couple as well as individual resolutions.  Stress and busyness, age and life in general had cooled our sexual relationship to a slow simmer.  Our 2021 goal is :  " Some is good.  More is better! "  Planned or spontaneous -- all is good! Let the conversation begin.

8 Misunderstandings That Are Hurting Your Sex Life

Why are we writing about sex again?  Sex in marriage is more important than most people think.  It's mysterious. There are a lot of "layers" and complexities to this whole topic.... read on... 

The Super-Power of Affirmation

  JULIE: I’m not a superhero.   While I can’t fly faster than a speeding bullet, make myself invisible, or read people’s minds, I CAN harness the super-power of affirmation by   telling John the numerous reasons he is special to me or the many traits I admire in him.   Never underestimate the super-power of affirmation to build up your spouse and enhance your relationship.